As readers of this publication know, fairly often I make mention of the facts that I’m f*cking old (my internal tree added its 76th ring a few months ago), and that I ain’t thrilled about being way closer to the end than to the beginning of my residency on Planet Earth. I’m not obsessed or anything like that with these thoughts, but they clearly are on my mind.
Still, the nature of my life isn’t all that different from what it was 25 or more years ago, except that I no longer work fulltime. I’m in decent shape and health, and I continue to pursue my interests: writing pieces for this website, for instance, and leaving the comfort of my abode to take in concerts, movies, art exhibitions, restaurant meals and the great outdoors pretty regularly. I’m damn lucky, overall. I have little to complain about.
That being said, I’m now about to lodge a major complaint, as there is one activity that annoys the crap out of me and puts me on edge. Consistently. Up until about 15 years ago it didn’t, which makes me think that becoming old as dirt has made me more sensitive to its challenges. Or maybe I simply reached an inevitable breaking point. Whatever, here’s what I’m referring to: driving my car.
There’s no such thing as a casual, pleasant drive anymore. Not for me, anyway, a guy whose nerves apparently are half-shot. I’m just fed up with the enormous number of vehicles out there, the roadwork projects and lane closures you’re destined to run into most days, and the tricky situations you constantly have to navigate. Not to mention the assholes running red lights, tailgating, and blithely turning in front of oncoming traffic. Basically, me no like!
Hell, even on my quiet neighborhood’s residential blocks (I live in Willow Grove, a town near Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, USA), it’s a miracle when a delivery truck or other vehicle isn’t partially or fully blocking my way, or when my view of potential cross-traffic at intersections isn’t obscured by cars parked head-to-toe along the curbs. If I resided in Philadelphia or some other city with a good public transportation system, I could make do without a car. Here in the burbs, though, I need one. So, I grit my teeth and keep my fingers crossed when behind the wheel.
The other day was a classic, driving-wise, and not in a good sense. There I was, in late afternoon, hoping to make a right turn out of my neighborhood onto Old York Road, a major corridor. My destination? A supermarket about three-quarters of a mile from my house. Holy shit! I couldn’t turn, because traffic was backed up for 500 or more feet on Old York, the result, undoubtedly, of a train sitting at, or approaching or leaving the Willow Grove train station (I wasn’t able to make out exactly what was going on). After what seemed like forever, I nudged my way into a long line of cars on Old York. And several minutes later, the vehicles in front of me finally able to inch along, I reached and crossed the railroad tracks. At last, the supermarket was almost within shouting distance. Hallelujah!
What made the afternoon extra special is that I became enmeshed in a similar situation on the way home from the market. As I neared the train tracks, the gates that descend when a train is approaching did their thing. Down they went, the red lights attached to them flashing. A train eventually pulled into the station and eventually continued on its way. And eventually I arrived home. Man, I could have made the trips to and from the supermarket faster on foot than in my car, a laughable and pathetic truth.
Okay, rant over. In memory of the days when driving commonly was fun for me, I’ll leave you with a smoker from Tom Petty And The Heartbreakers: Runnin’ Down A Dream, which was released in 1989. The recording, as potent as freedom, almost is enough to convince me that carefree driving experiences might come my way once again. Here’s hoping.
Yeah, Another Blogger 
I empathize entirely Neil: the other Sunday on my way to Fellowship at the Revival Church I ran into road closures on the main thoroughfare and had to navigate my way disastrously through various detours so in desperation I called out: Jesus, get me out of this mess !!! A few seconds later a voice boomed from above: You’ve got a GPS system in your top pocket, idiot; use it ! The good Lord doesn’t mince words, Neil, so I did as instructed. Problem solved. This Sunday no problem, No road works. No road closures. No detours 🙂
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You lucked out two days ago.
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Smiling…..
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Hi there, and thanks.
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I’m totally with you. How hard is it to figure out a four-way stop? But people seem to have enormous difficulties with them and stop signs in general. Ugh. I love your rant, you have delivered it well and then also ended with one of my favourites. Don’t let the bastards drive you crazy, Neil.
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In many regions, it’s a crowded, hectic world. All we can do is to try and put up with it as best we can.
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You think that’s bad in a car, it’s a nightmare on a bike!
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Good point.
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Amen! And how about those drivers, behind tinted glass, who wave a cyclist through when it’s clearly not our turn? Are they just lining up a target so they can see the oblivious, cell phone addict next to them run us over?
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I hear you. I lived in an outer borough of NYC, and when I was a kid, driving my stick-shift Fiat around hilly, curvy streets. But lately it had become a traffic-and-SUV/pickup filled horror. I live in rural Italy now, where driving is a pleasure. I have a little hatchback and I can drive into the nearest city without seeing a traffic light. I was reminded of how lucky I am by a trip back to NY for the holidays where, if anything, things got worse. You could feel the road rage, with people driving their monster vehicles as though they were Vespas in Rome.
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Is this Anthony? You’re fortunate to live in an area where driving is a pleasure. That helps to keep blood pressure at a normal level.
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OMG, you would love driving in Tauranga. I’m just kidding. You would hate it. Worst city in NZ for traffic congestion. The population grew too fast, and the infrastructure had no chance of coping.
You did make me laugh 😊
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Good infrastructure usually results in even more motor vehicles being on the road. It’s a vicious cycle.
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Unfortunately, we NZers love our cars. I so enjoy using my bike when possible. It’s slowly changing with more workers cycling to work. Time for an early morning walk.
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And I thought this was just typical for the U.K.?! Neil, it is crazy how many cars there are and I thought it would have been easier with so many lanes for the cars. Not at all and no wonder you want to share – rant away! This will resonate with so many of us! I live in the countryside so mainly single lane roads but yes, delivery vans, companies digging up roads, closing roads for month at a time has been a bane of my life especially this winter! Then we have the pot holes … don’t get me started! They very kindly paint a red ring round them and then leave them to become ginormous holes before chucking in some tar much later! Yes, here’s to the joy of walking! 😀
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Annika, it’s a wild and wooly world out there. I feel sorry for people who have to commute, by car, to work each day. No fun at all!
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Exactly! Here in the U.K. there is admittedly so many more working from home where possible – so traffic is supposedly less! I hadn’t noticed it though!
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I hear ya!
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Yeah, driving, for many people, is a pain.
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Great post, as always. I can relate on couple of levels. 😉 Re the driving. It HAS changed in the last few years. People are on their phones (thus, not paying full attention), are in a hurry, seem ruder. Traffic has increased (as has construction). I totally get why drivers, myself included, feel road rage. I found I could walk faster – in most cases – than it would take me to drive somewhere. Sold the car a little over a year ago and haven’t regretted it once!
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I’m glad that going car-less has worked out for you. Does your town/city have a decent public transportation system?
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Not particularly. LOL Truly … I CAN walk faster that cars and transit.
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Age-wise, I am just a little behind you, Neil. Traffic is not a great bother for me – On most occasions I will be a kilometre from home before meeting the first car and traffic will be light after that; the benefit of living in a town which isn’t too large and being able to time journeys to avoid the rush hour – we do our weekly grocery shopping at 7a.m. on a Saturday, three shops and home within the hour. What irks me, my old-age complaint, is people treating me with less respect than they would a younger person – an in-law who allows the children root about in wardrobes and presses in the house, who allows a dog roam through our house, who treats our house just too much as her own. I, to great surprise and shock, didn’t agree to an overnight stay here recently, told the children that they could play only in the rooms where the adults were present and made it clear the dog was not welcome to go beyond the kitchen – hard surface floor which can easily be washed afterwards! It wasn’t liked but it worked. Now, as you will realise, I couldn’t possibly vent this on my own blog as it would risk stirring the pot perhaps a little too vigorously but I am so happy I made a stand, a very gentle stand but it has been effective. Long live the golden oldies!
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I agree with what you did. It’s your house, after all!
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Chronologically, I’m nearing your age group. I used to love driving to an almost unhelathy extent. I still enjoy the occasional country drive, but they happen less frequently. Eyesight and bladder issues intrude in this joy more than I care to admit. I do wish there was viable public transit in Nebraska, but alas, I’m left to my own devices.
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Hi. As you know, I live pretty close to Philly. I usually use public transportation (i.e. commuter trains) to go to Philadelphia, rather than driving there. It’s pretty easy to get around the city too, once I’m there. There are loads of bus routes, and there are subways and trollies too.
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This is one of the rare occasions, Neil, that I am glad I don’t drive or have a car! You have put a good argument for me to stay away of diving! Thank you!
Joanna
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Hi Joanna. Your city, and the surrounding areas, have a great public transportation system. That makes all the difference in the world.
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I also have everything almost on my doorstep, just walking distance!
Joanna
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Sounds terrible! We, too, wish we could make do without a car, but not possible in rural Maine. But that is a terrific Tom Petty song.
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Tom Petty And The Heartbreakers were a fabulous band. One of the best, I think.
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Yes, yes!
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Hope is always a good thing. And as usual, you are so funny.
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Here’s to hope!
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Like you, where here I live, a car is necessary. The nearest grocery store is about 5 kilometres away. I keep telling people that someday I will have to move within walking distance of a grocery store and a wine store because here they are two separate things. Either that or I will have to continue to swear when I drive.
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Driving sure isn’t going to get any better. We’ll have to keep on grinning and bearing it. And swearing too!
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I’ve never driven…poor eyesight. Leo can’t any more, so we have a driver. Americans here say that Costa Ricans are bad drivers…they should try France! At least here people don’t park on a roundabout to buy their bread from the baker whose shop is just there…
Roadworks are rare….a pothole signaled by a branch sticking up from it and in the case of our little town a full grown and fruiting banana in one of the back streets….a bridge down makes for a detour on dirt roads through the countryside…
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Your area presents plenty of challenges for motor vehicles!
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The pandemic affected the driving experience a lot. Less congestion downtown and on freeways with all the remote work. But more delivery drivers blocking traffic anywhere they please and far more people (probably high and well-armed) driving like no one’s lives matter including their own.
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And, despite all the bad and dangerous driving, very few people ever are pulled over by police officers. It seems to me that not all that many police officers are actually out there, in their vehicles, patrolling the roads.
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Terrific piece, and so relatable for so many of us.
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The driving scenario is part of modern life, and I’m certain it won’t get better.
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Good story again Neil, enhanced by your photos. Summer on Cape Cod is “No left turn season”. At least you don’t have to drive the Schuylkill (or “Sure-kill”) Expressway each day. Write On, my friend!
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Hi Ernie. I’m usually on Cape Cod in October, when traffic isn’t too bad. Even then, I’m not thrilled about driving on many of the roads, especially in the dark. For instance, Route 28, between Chatham and Orleans, is dangerous in the dark, yet lots of people zoom along it.
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For me driving is much better for me since l retired. I drove everyday to School District of Philadelphia down Broad St to expressway then down the drive past boathouse row for 40 years. That was traffic, delays etc etc etc!!!! Driving is a breeze for me after all that. After work drove to Bala Cynwyd to my tennis squash club where l would play and enjoy dinner with friends. Driving back home would be much easier and faster.
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Your commute back and forth to work was bad, bad news. You deserved a medal for putting up with it!
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I love to drive, but your complaints about the traffic — and the driving habits of many people who take to the road — certainly are familiar. For months, an enormous highway and bridge construction/expansion project between me and most of my work has necessitated either a 30 minute detour or sitting in traffic for 30-45 minutes.
That said, over time I’ve noticed a change in behavior on those drives. It’s gone on for so long that people seem to have sighed and accepted the various mergers, changing closed lanes, and so on. More and more often I see people letting others into the line of traffic, or leaving space at intersections rather than blocking them. There still are jerks, of course, but it’s been weeks since I’ve seen an accident due to tailgating or such. Maybe there is hope for humanity.
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Hi Linda. Hope for humanity? — well, I don’t think so. But it’s good to know that some drivers have become more considerate in your region!
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First of all, it’s good that some of us get smarter as we age & see the rampant assholism on our highways (more readily dismissed when we are young) for what it is. Secondly, if we’re living in or near the Megalopolis (or in a country undervaluing a public transport system) highway life won’t be getting much rosier, for sure. Maybe we could pray for better mental health, more honest politicians, and a lower birth rate overall, but that probably won’t help much either. As for me, I’m driving less, enjoying the diminishment, and wishing you good luck & thank you for the effort.
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“Maybe we could pray for better mental health, more honest politicians, and a lower birth rate overall, but that probably won’t help much either.” — I think you’re right.
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I don’t like driving longish distances anymore for just the reasons you spotlighted. I keep everything local!
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Hey, Jacqui. In my area, local driving is nerve-wracking.
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I get you, Neil. Wouldn’t you love to ask some of these drivers, “Where the h*** are you going in such a hurry that requires you to speed and/or blow through red lights at the (potential) expense of others?” Are other people REALLY that late for something REALLY more important than your own agenda? I swear drivers simply go too fast – and break laws – because they can get away with it, especially when fewer cops are needed for more important matters. One of these days I’d love to see a traffic cop pull over the little USPS truck that regularly hits top speed through our neighborhood for random parcel deliveries. Again, it’s simply an attitude of getting the job done ASAP without regard for the safety of anyone around them.
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Sadly, all of this is reality, and it won’t get any better. And speaking of delivery trucks: so many items are being bought online, the number of delivery trucks is going to increase as time goes on.
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Driving in South Philadelphia is nightmare anymore. Between trash trucks, buses, deliveries, constructions, cars doubled parked and detours not fun anymore.
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Mike, is this you? Yeah, driving in the city is the opposite of fun. And finding a place to park? Well, good luck with that!
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Reminds me of someone’s comment that cars are a curse—a curse when you have one, a curse if you don’t!
As for me, at my age, I have to pass a driver’s test every two years in order to keep using my car. It will probably be on the road long after I’m not!
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If I lived in Philly proper, rather than in my town outside of Philly, I definitely could get by okay without a car. But my residence would have to be in a central part of the city. In outlying Philadelphia neighborhoods, being without a car would be difficult.
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Yep, one of the best things about living in the city is being able to hop on a bus and get almost anywhere—thereby avoiding the dread “Jekyll-Hyde Driving Syndrome,” which can turn the most mild-mannered person into a raving lunatic!
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This is Cindy, BTW.
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Hi Cindy. Can you imagine being a SEPTA bus driver? Oy veh!
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Rant away 🙂 I grew up in Winnipeg where the seasons are winter and construction. The roads are always bad. Maggie
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I suppose that driving is fun, or sort of fun, in some locales. But in most places? — nah!
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Something driving Neil crazy? No, not possible! I don’t drive, but, believe me, it’s no fun either having to sit in the front passenger seat next to a tailgating driver, complaining all the while about people who don’t know how to drive. You did well in getting back home in one piece 🙂 Hallelujah!
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Sitting next to a tailgating driver is enough to jangle one’s nerves real good.
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I hear you! Driving is becoming more stressful here too and I do it as little as possible. Apart from vacations, I could manage without a car altogether. I walk as much as I can and public transport is ok and gets me most places I need to be with far less wear and tear on the nerves.
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Walking and using public transportation is the way to do things, whenever possible. You are a good citizen!
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I do my best!
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I fully agree Neil. Driving in today’s traffic is daunting – not to mention that today’s drivers seem less courteous than they once were… and did they have to take a driver’s test??? It must have been a different test than the one I took. LOL
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“Daunting” absolutely is the right word.
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You are not alone, Neil. I live on the relatively calm west side of San Francisco, where there are mostly single-family homes. And I have the great fortune of living within a few blocks of a wonderful neighborhood “village” with restaurants, banks, post office, etc. So I walk to almost everything and don’t need to drive much. But even other forms of mobility come with hazards! Our public transportation is phenomenal, but there’s always the occasional “crazy person.” And walking my dog has become a nightmare, what with all the people blatantly running stop signs and, for some reason, failing to see ol’ invisible me. I wish I had a jet pack. Didn’t they promise us, when we were young, that they’d be coming soon?
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It’s a mess out there. When it’s dangerous to walk a dog, you know that things have regressed.
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Chicago has gotten crazy. They drive as if there are no other cars on the road! LOL – our new life since the pandemic.
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Madness!
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I sympathise wholeheartedly. I only just turned 70, but I gave up my car a few years ago. (My wife still has one). I live in Mexico city where traffic is Hell (like anywhere else). I use Uber. I don’t have to worry about jams, about aggressivity, parking… fares have increased abit, but I’m almost sure I pay less than if I still had a car, and I don’t have the aggravation…
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What you’ve done makes a lot of sense.
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Also depends where one lives. If one lives in American suburbia, where the nearest shop is 5 miles away, it could be difficult…
Cheers
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It’s been horrible here, too. The city’s mayor instructed the police not to make traffic stops after she was elected, and from then on it’s been a giant free-for-all on the city streets. She finally took that back, but the damage was done. Add to that the number of people who are staring at their phones while driving, and the people who believe the rules are for others and you have a dangerous and blood-pressure raising situation to say the least. Hang in their, Neil!
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It sounds as if the traffic/driving situation is even worse in your area than it is in mine. And that’s saying something.
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I met a woman who is a retired public defender. She noted that most of the people she defended were our age. They simply turned to alcohol to cope with the degradation of their world, which led to criminal charges from which she was then employed to defend them. I make sure to only drink at home…then my husband is the only one at risk. (I do get that humor doesn’t always shine through in writing so I’ll add this disclaimer: I’m only half kidding.)
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Cheers!
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Yes, I feel your pain, Niel. Rest assured though it’s not your age. Something has changed out there, may be the weather or the damage smartphones do to our brains, but
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,…. but it really is getting crazier and more stressful behind the wheel. 🤯.
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And it seems to be happening in many countries.
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Driving is annoying. I get this same feeling driving now, even though I’m about 20 years younger. I think it does come with age.
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There are so many cars out there, driving becomes a nerve-rattling experience.
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Rather a radical move, but it sounds like you need to move somewhere quieter, with less cars! In my town, peak hour is actually peak minute! Or just start walking everywhere! 🙂 Mel
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Hey, Mel. I like being in a region that has a strong arts scene and lots of restaurants. So, I wouldn’t particularly want to live in a rural or semi-rural area.
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Yep, good point. Each to their own. Stay safe on those roads! 🙂
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Oh … you DO NOT want to drive in Toronto either. It’s awful with all the cyclists, Ebikes, bike lanes, pedestrians, roadwork, etc etc … Thankfully I live in the downtown core and can avoid driving if I can walk, even if it takes me twice as long. Our public transit is shitty too, so the options are poor all around.
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Toronto is a great city. But in that respect it’s a mess.
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Not crazy about driving during rush hour or with a lot of road construction. I feel your pain, Neil! Especially in the heat of the summer. One hundred plus degrees literally drives crazy people even crazier and that’s when the road rage incidents occur. Navigating traffic inside a grocery store can sometimes be just as bad. Glad I don’t have to do either except once in a while, since David and I have been working out of our home for over twenty years. The drive to work is short, indeed! Mona
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Not having to commute to work makes life much easier!
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Thank goodness for GPS, Neil, or I’d be trying to read a map while driving, and I’m sure I’d run over pedestrians or bicycles or swipe the doors off parked cars. Portland, OR has the most random stop sign plan in the world (I’m convinced) and driving is no longer fun. So I agree with you. Is it age? Or is it just that there are more cars and crazy drivers? 🙂 I like to think it’s the latter. 🙂
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Hi. I think there are more vehicles out there than there used to be. And road construction projects of one kind or another are all over the place. Oy veh!
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I laughed a lot reading this post. Driving for sure is not what it used to be! I think it’s a combination of more drivers, more road construction, and more risky drivers coupled with the fact we are getting older.
I really enjoyed your post.
Velva
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Hi Velva, and many thanks for stopping by. Even though my story is a rant about driving, there’s no way I would want to stop driving totally. A car truly is needed some/much of the time.
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This will sound very preachy, but the way so many people drive reflects their absolute egocentricity. This goes along with the general loss of respect and courtesy toward other people.
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Sad but true.
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It’s hell out there fella.
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You’re not kidding.
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I think it’s gotten worse since the pandemic. Twice as many cars and twice as many people driving like cowboys.
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It’s a mess out there on the roads. No fun at all.
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I remember being told that if you can walk to and from a store faster than driving there and back you live in a big city. You live in a big city, Neil.
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Hi Ally. My town is about seven miles outside of Philadelphia. But, traffic here in the burbs can be just as bad as it is in the city. Take care. Have a good upcoming week.
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There are two spots very near my house where the crossbar things come down for a train. I’ve gotten more familiar with the schedule (It’s close to the hour and the half hour.) I know that I’m running late to a class if the train beats me to the intersection. I try to get through ahead of the train schedule. I wonder if you couldn’t look up the schedule near you and aim to avoid it when you have to go out?
Or if not, bicycle with a basket?? 🙂 Kidding. That would probably be even worse and scarier.
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Hi Betsy. You’re right about a bike — I wouldn’t attempt riding one around here. That would be asking for major trouble. Your suggestion about learning the train schedule is a good one. I’ll look into that!
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Oh good! I’m glad to be helpful. 🙂
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P.S. Just reread your title for this post. Ha. I get it. Nicely done. 🙂
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Hi, and thanks.
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