“What the f*ck is going on?” I asked myself two Thursday afternoons ago while at my volunteer job in a medical office building near my home. (I man the information desk there for four hours each week, answering questions and helping people in a variety of other ways.)
The day was humming along. I was busy. But something I’d never seen before in the dozen years I’ve held the gig was becoming more and more apparent as the afternoon progressed. Namely, scads of male visitors, ranging from teenagers to senior citizens, were wearing shorts. Amazingly, in fact, it seemed that more geezers — my peers — were in shorts than the younger members of my gender.
The volume of shorts-clad guys in the building didn’t decrease at any point during my shift. I even saw two examples of those gentlemen, each a strong candidate for the Hairiest Legs In Town trophy, heading for an exit together. What the f*ck, indeed! Was it National Men-In-Shorts Day? Sure, the weather outside was mild. But on nice days about one in ten guys visiting the building normally sport shorts. On the Thursday in question the percentage was at least three times higher. Some pieces of photographic evidence of what I observed are included in this essay.
Now, there’s little doubt that just about nobody but me would have paid much, if any, attention to the shorts situation that day. I mean, who gives a shit about guys in shorts, right? Well, I do, but only when it comes to males middle-aged and above. That’s because I, once very pro-shorts, eliminated shorts from my wardrobe circa 1990. In my mid-40s at the time, I was of the opinion that shorts had become age-inappropriate for me.
Furthermore, I decided that guys in my age demographic or older would do well to follow suit. Needless to say, that didn’t happen and still hasn’t. I’ll never be an influencer.
It doesn’t take a psychiatrist or psychotherapist to understand that what I did and thought regarding shorts revealed and continues to reveal plenty about my insecurities and confidence level. Let’s face it, I feel slightly threatened by and jealous of mature men who appear in public in shorts. Clearly, though, I should admire them instead, as many of them, undoubtedly, are more comfortable in their skins than I am in mine.
So, I’ve got work to do. Mainly, I’ll try to stop asking myself “what the f*ck?” when shorts-wearing guys who are far removed from their 20s enter my field of vision. And it wouldn’t hurt if I bought and began wearing shorts again. Screw age–inappropriate!
Up until six months ago I wouldn’t have needed to buy any shorts, though, as two pairs of same had been residing undisturbed within my clothes closet for eons. One was a multi-colored gem, a work of pop art. Back in the 1980s I wore it proudly.
The second pair, taupe in color, lacked charisma but was cool nonetheless. For reasons I can’t recall, not only did I never wear it, I didn’t even remove the price tag. I suppose I bought this pair in the 1990s, thinking I might one day get back into a shorts frame of mind.
Anyway, six months ago a wonderful event took place: a multi-day, my-side-of-the-family reunion. People came from very near and from very far, everyone, including me and my wife Sandy, spending the majority of time in Philadelphia. For one day, though, the gang assembled at Sandy’s and my house in the Philadelphia burbs, where lots of fun was had by all.
I don’t remember why, but in the middle of that day the subject of clothes, maybe of shorts specifically, came up between me and one of my nephews, who was at the reunion with his girlfriend. Bingo! It instantly dawned on me that I possessed clothes I no longer wore and no longer wanted. I raced upstairs and removed both pairs of shorts from their burial site and bestowed them upon two folks much younger and better looking than I. My nephew and his girlfriend wasted no time in putting them on. The photo I snapped of them in their new duds is a favorite of mine. Have shorts ever looked finer on anyone? I think not!
Yeah, Another Blogger 
I’m sure you would have looked fabulous in those shorts of yours, Neil. 🙂
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I’m not too sure about that!
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You need to start to believe it, just like all those other men who proudly show their legs. 😊
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Looks like the shorts found a wonderful new home.
You should re-think your Shorts Rule, because YOLO.
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I’m rethinking it. I think that shorts will have a place in my life once again.
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🤣😂🤣 What a wonderful tale of shorts. And, I agree with you, the two sporting the vintage shorts look smashing in them, nice job repurposing and bringing life back to the shorts! Now, be brave and go buy some for yourself to wear. 😉
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I probably will. I’m leaning in that direction.
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Love that your shorts found a new, happier home. (those two are definitely cute and cool in their new duds) But I think you should rethink your NO-SHORTS rule. Dress for comfort and to suit yourself. If shorts would be cooler and more comfortable – wear them!
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I’m pretty sure that shorts will be a part of my future. I’m definitely thinking about it!
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What a funny observation and what great sports your nephew and especially his gf are for donning your old shorts! I’m glad they have been given new life. 🙂
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Those shorts had been buried in my closet for too long. Now they are free!
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I hope my comment posted. {Shrug.}
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Hi. I responded to your comment, which was posted as being from “anonymous.” — I guess there was a WordPress glitch. Anyway, your comment is below. Thanks for stopping by. Neil
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Yep, I hit reply before signing in, which is a new thing I have to do all the time now. Boo.
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Whether or not you feel up to wearing shorts in the future, you’ve done your good deed for the day! They look great on the young couple. 😄
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I agree. I’m glad I gave the shorts to them. And I’m glad I took that photo!
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The cute couples DOES look great in those shorts! I laughed when I first started reading this one as my dad is well-known for wearing shorts long after summer ends and my mom gets on his case as it’s colder out, saying pants-wearing season is here, no more shorts. Every year this happens 🤣 So cute. Have a great rest of your week, Neil!
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Many males love their shorts!
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When I was a young man, a friend in our group only wore shorts all year round (Seattle has relatively mild winters). He was from a beach community but I still thought it so odd. I have continued to wear shorts all my life when the venue, activity, and weather seemed appropriate for it but only this year at age 76 did I wear a pair to Church. It got hot enough without air conditioning and others had been doing it for years. And my Mother wasn’t around to see me do it!
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Hi Geoff. Thanks for adding these comments. Shorts are more popular and more accepted than I had realized. I suspect that I’ll return to wearing shorts a bit next year, after decades of not doing so.
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I remember going a guy receiving a pair of blue jeans at his retirement party because he had never worn a pair in his life. I have always wondered whether he ever wore them!
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Great post! Since moving to Florida shorts are about ALL I see! Add to that, now shorts are getting shorter and shorter. Some guys can pull it off quite well…but others….yikes! Made me think about my dear old friend who passed some years ago …he refused to wear jeans no matter how leisure the occasion and the only shorts he wore were on the soccer field as a ref.
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It’s only now becoming apparent to me that shorts are REALLY popular.
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I can’t stop laughing!
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Thanks. I appreciate it.
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I will second your opinion – old guys do not belong in shorts. And I am an old guy, so I am entitled to spout this opinion. Something else old guys do. I have maybe two pairs tucked away somewhere. They are cargo shorts. I suspect that my millennial children will laugh at them, which helps every time I think about ignoring my own advice and putting them on.
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I guess I’m wavering at this point. In any case, I’ve come to realize that there are a lot more shorts-wearing guys, of all ages, than I thought.
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Those beachy shorts look great on the girlfriend! You know, you can still change your mind if you want! Because it sounds to me a little like you want to hop into the shorts-wearing groove again! Maybe start small: first, wear shorts at home. Then to the supermarket. Then for a walk… etc 😃
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I like your plan!
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I’m of the female variety, but very much in my forties… I only wear shorts that come down to my knees now… nothing above!
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Hi. I appreciate your adding your thoughts. One thing I’ve learned from the various comments that people have posted is that shorts are more popular than I had thought. There’s a pretty good chance I’ll rejoin the shorts club next year.
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What a great photo of your nephew and his girlfriend in your shorts. I honestly don’t think there is right or wrong when it comes to shorts. If you feel comfortable wearing them, you should – no matter which age.
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You’re right — to each his/her own.
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👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👍🏻
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“That’s because I, once very pro-shorts, eliminated shorts from my wardrobe circa 1990. In my mid-40s at the time, I was of the opinion that shorts had become age-inappropriate for me.”
Neil, I am flabbergasted, walloped upside the head, and just plain STUNNED. You quit wearing shorts in your mid-40s???! Now, if you had said topless, thong bikinis are not a great look on 90-year-old women (a sight I have witnessed in Florida), I could maybe see your point, but shorts??? IMO, you are suffering needlessly in the heat, my friend. I think you should book an immediate session with Dr. R.U. Forereel and then go online and order up a wardrobe of shorts in a rainbow of colors.
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Shorts, I’m quite certain, will re-enter my wardrobe in the future. I am beginning to see the light!
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Hallelujah!
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It’s funny Neil, when I was a kid, up until I was about 14, I hated wearing shorts! I was about the only kid my age wearing jeans in July and August. Now, at 69, I don’t look forward to wearing jeans or slacks when the weather gets cooler. A very thoughtful story. Nice work!
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You and shorts are meant for each other!
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If there is no such National Men-In-Shorts Day, you should definitely start one😄😄😄
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I’m on it!
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As a Canadian, we are hard-pressed to find men NOT wearing shorts … year round! The hairier the better, to help insulate from the cold. It’s a right of passage for some men to spend all year in shorts, even when it’s -40.
I can see where you are coming from, when back in the day young lads wore short pants until they were considered Men and could wear long pants.
However, I must ask. Doesn’t it get very hot in the summer? Don’t you dream of letting your lily whites see the sun every now and again?
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Hey there, Alisen. I’ve reconsidered my opinion about shorts. There’s a real chance I’ll buy and wear a pair in 2024.
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Woo hoo! Please post pics. I’d love to hear about your experiment and whether or not wearing shorts was enjoyable.
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