A Circular Story

One day, back when humans lived in caves and suburban housing developments were unimaginable, two brothers — Moan and Groan — began dragging, with ropes, a crude, enormous wooden box. Their destination, several miles away, was the adjacent caves in which they resided with their wives and children. One cave per family. The box, I hasten to add, was occupied by a wooly mammoth, which was no longer among the living. That was because Moan and Groan had punctured the crap out of it with their spears.

“Groan, this motherf*cker is heavier than hell,” Moan moaned in his native tongue, which I, a linguistic scholar specializing in commonly-thought-to-be lost languages, have translated into English for the benefit of anyone reading this article. “There’s got to be a better way to move large objects, don’t you think?”

“Moan, there is no better way. So, shut up and keep pulling,” replied Groan, groaning from exertion.

Six hours later, totally exhausted, Moan and Groan arrived home.

“We’re back,” they announced weakly at the caves’ entrances. At this, Tip and Top, the respective mates of Moan and Groan, rushed from the caves to greet the returnees. The ladies clapped their hands enthusiastically at the sight of the gigantic animal destined to feed the two families for months.

“Thank you, boys,” Tip said. “By the way, Top and I have been putting our heads together recently. We know how strenuous it is for you to bring your prey back home. Hard work indeed! But we’ve figured out something that will make the jobs much easier.”

Moan and Groan, looking at each other quizzically, were all ears. “Tell us,” they said.

Well, suffice it to say that Tip and Top had developed the wheel. And not only the wheel, but the axle too.  Wheels and axles, with large boxes atop them, would make the transport of wooly mammoths, and of a million other things, a relative breeze, explained Tip and Top. And, of course, they were right. Though it must be noted that axles, as important as they are, don’t mean shit when wheels aren’t in the picture. Yup, the wheel has proven to be one of humankind’s greatest inventions. It’s right up there with the Big Mac and Viagra. I believe we all should set aside time each day to give thanks to Tip and Top, as their genius made life easier and initiated a major awakening of human brain power.

Now, I bring all of this up because wheels have been pretty crucial for my blog. I mean, I’ve published ten editions of Art On Wheels, for crying out loud. It’s a series about my hunts for well-decorated trucks and other vehicles, and includes photographs of my captures. You better believe I had fun creating those stories. And I certainly have no plans to terminate the project (click here for the most recent entry).

Orleans, Cape Cod, Massachusetts, USA
Edinburgh, Scotland, United Kingdom

However, while examining my phone’s overflowing photo library the other day, I realized that it contains a selection of wheels-related pix that have nothing to do with Art On Wheels. Some of them, I noticed, had made their way innocently into Yeah, Another Blogger stories over the years anyway, for one reason or another. Most hadn’t, though. A softie at heart, I began to melt when I heard the unpublished ones explaining to me, between sniffles, that they felt lonely and neglected. They insisted that they wanted to be lofted into cyberspace, hoping to experience the warmth that might come from more eyes than mine gazing upon them.

Santa Fe, New Mexico, USA
Manhattan, New York City, New York, USA

“I truly understand,” I said to the photos, my eyes tearing up. “But I can’t place all of you on Yeah, Another Blogger. That would be overkill. So, I want each of you guys to examine one another closely and then vote for your ten favorite pix, excluding your own. The top-five vote-getters will be displayed in my next story.”

Willow Grove, Pennsylvania, USA

Naturally, there was some grumbling, since none of the pictures wanted to be left out. But in the end the vote took place. And I am happy to decorate this article with the winners.

In conclusion, all I can say is that, as with many things, we take the wheel for granted. Most likely we’d still be living in frigging caves had it not been invented. Thus, before I forget, I now bow down to Tip and Top. Okay, that’s accomplished. In a few minutes, then, I’m going to head to my car, because I need to run a few errands. Wheels, here I come!

148 thoughts on “A Circular Story

  1. ckennedy March 12, 2023 / 7:18 pm

    This reminds that in the 4th grade, we did a class play about Henry Ford–it was a whole musical–and one of the songs was, “Where There’s a Wheel There’s a Way”–I still remember the chorus to this day. It kind of sticks with you.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ally Bean March 13, 2023 / 10:30 am

    I love this. You are right to point out the importance of wheels in our lives. I never even think about them, unless my shopping cart at Kroger has a wobbly one– then my thoughts are less than kind.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. chattykerry March 13, 2023 / 11:53 am

    I am very grateful to my wheels right now. Our pollen is SO high and I am allergic. I even went for a mall walk – that ages me right there.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Linda Pearce Griffin March 13, 2023 / 2:04 pm

    Hats off to Tip and Top for inventing the wheel. And also to YOU for allowing to credit to go to the women of the tribe in your story……and also for translating lost languages. You are a good human.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. juliefj1 March 13, 2023 / 2:23 pm

    I love this story and yay Tip and Top! I am now inspired to go through my phone’s photo library and see what I can come up with. I don’t have wheels, but I do have enough photos of leaves to fill a forest.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Jeff the Chef March 14, 2023 / 9:13 am

    Leave it to women to invent the wheel! If the wheel and the axle hadn’t been invented, I wonder if the LP would’ve been invented? Anyway, my favorite pic is the shopping carts. Nicely done!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yeah, Another Blogger March 14, 2023 / 2:52 pm

      Jeff, I like the shopping cart photo a lot too. I shop at that store often, but the carts had never made much of an impression on me before.


  7. andrewcferguson March 14, 2023 / 3:20 pm

    You know, I never thought about the axle before, but without it, the wheel’s just an interesting way to grow your annual bedding plants, isn’t it? Good job with the photos!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yeah, Another Blogger March 14, 2023 / 8:14 pm

      Speaking of wheels: when Sandy and I were in Edinburgh, we saw a street performer who did much of his act on a unicycle.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. estricsek March 14, 2023 / 9:43 pm

    Great story Neil! Moan & Groan, I think I used to work with those guys…. Great photos too. I jump on the bike trail next to Orleans Cycle, good bunch of people working at that shop.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yeah, Another Blogger March 15, 2023 / 7:23 am

      Hi. That bike trail is a great thing. I think it extends from South Dennis to Wellfleet. How often do you ride your bike?


      • estricsek March 15, 2023 / 3:04 pm

        I have only ridden it a couple of times. Over the past 2 years I needed a hip replacement and spine surgery (result of an accident I experienced 60 years ago). I could only ride about 15 miles round trip. I plan on making up for lost time this year. There are a couple of traffic circles on the trail. There is a branch that runs through Chatham, about a mile from my house. I have ridden that branch into Harwichport and the Orleans one up to Wellfleet.

        Liked by 1 person

  9. J P March 15, 2023 / 5:51 am

    I never tire of pictures of wheels. The story was just as good, demonstrating that the wheel was a mammoth idea.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Fran Johns March 15, 2023 / 12:49 pm

    I think (especially now that I have SOLD MY CAR!) I’m going to have to write a rebuttal in behalf of Feet. Poor Feet, tossed aside – well, except for occasional participation with the gas pedal and the brake – while Wheels get all the glory.🥺

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yeah, Another Blogger March 15, 2023 / 4:26 pm

      Hi. You’ve reminded me that I haven’t taken a walk in a few days. I’d go today, except that there are 45 miles-per-hour wind gusts outside!


  11. cincinnatibabyhead March 15, 2023 / 5:00 pm

    I thought for sure you’d feature the Burrito’s ‘Wheels’
    “Come on wheels take this boy away”
    Or at least the Shaggs instrumental.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yeah, Another Blogger March 15, 2023 / 7:53 pm

      I went to YouTube to listen to Wheels an hour ago. Thanks for mentioning it. Great song. Hadn’t heard it in years. By the way, a few minutes ago I heard, on SiriusXM, The Road Goes On Forever, by Robert Earl Keen. Man, it’s tremendous.

      Liked by 1 person

      • cincinnatibabyhead March 15, 2023 / 8:11 pm

        Was doing my “practicing reading out loud” and read your piece to my gal. She got a chuckle out of it.
        I was listening to Keen a few days ago (music paths cross again. There’s a blog post there some where). First time I heard the Keen cut was 30 years ago. Joe Ely version. I think they were buddies. Gotta roll man. Keep the wheels turnin’.

        Liked by 1 person

  12. stargazer March 20, 2023 / 6:27 pm

    Amazing to think of how we managed before having wheels. It definitely is a groundbreaking invention. On the other hand, we also managed to cope before we had iPhones, even if it’s hard to believe seeing how much our lives depend on it these days. So we probably managed without wheels just fine.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Americaoncoffee March 23, 2023 / 3:12 am

    I hope there will be a sequel Neil. You’re a creative genius. I love your use of pair-ables which helped me to distinguish characterizations and relate to the characters without confusion. Your a master at human geography. 👍👍

    Liked by 1 person

  14. rkrontheroad March 30, 2023 / 4:05 pm

    So fun! Glad to meet Tip and Top and know it was the women that came up with that innovation. Keep the stories and photos rolling along!

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Americaoncoffee April 28, 2023 / 1:23 am

    An interesting, logical share and well-balanced with pairs. We must return to pairing from which there are less complexities.🤔

    Liked by 1 person

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