One day, back when humans lived in caves and suburban housing developments were unimaginable, two brothers — Moan and Groan — began dragging, with ropes, a crude, enormous wooden box. Their destination, several miles away, was the adjacent caves in which they resided with their wives and children. One cave per family. The box, I hasten to add, was occupied by a wooly mammoth, which was no longer among the living. That was because Moan and Groan had punctured the crap out of it with their spears.
“Groan, this motherf*cker is heavier than hell,” Moan moaned in his native tongue, which I, a linguistic scholar specializing in commonly-thought-to-be lost languages, have translated into English for the benefit of anyone reading this article. “There’s got to be a better way to move large objects, don’t you think?”
“Moan, there is no better way. So, shut up and keep pulling,” replied Groan, groaning from exertion.
Six hours later, totally exhausted, Moan and Groan arrived home.
“We’re back,” they announced weakly at the caves’ entrances. At this, Tip and Top, the respective mates of Moan and Groan, rushed from the caves to greet the returnees. The ladies clapped their hands enthusiastically at the sight of the gigantic animal destined to feed the two families for months.
“Thank you, boys,” Tip said. “By the way, Top and I have been putting our heads together recently. We know how strenuous it is for you to bring your prey back home. Hard work indeed! But we’ve figured out something that will make the jobs much easier.”
Moan and Groan, looking at each other quizzically, were all ears. “Tell us,” they said.
Well, suffice it to say that Tip and Top had developed the wheel. And not only the wheel, but the axle too. Wheels and axles, with large boxes atop them, would make the transport of wooly mammoths, and of a million other things, a relative breeze, explained Tip and Top. And, of course, they were right. Though it must be noted that axles, as important as they are, don’t mean shit when wheels aren’t in the picture. Yup, the wheel has proven to be one of humankind’s greatest inventions. It’s right up there with the Big Mac and Viagra. I believe we all should set aside time each day to give thanks to Tip and Top, as their genius made life easier and initiated a major awakening of human brain power.
Now, I bring all of this up because wheels have been pretty crucial for my blog. I mean, I’ve published ten editions of Art On Wheels, for crying out loud. It’s a series about my hunts for well-decorated trucks and other vehicles, and includes photographs of my captures. You better believe I had fun creating those stories. And I certainly have no plans to terminate the project (click here for the most recent entry).


However, while examining my phone’s overflowing photo library the other day, I realized that it contains a selection of wheels-related pix that have nothing to do with Art On Wheels. Some of them, I noticed, had made their way innocently into Yeah, Another Blogger stories over the years anyway, for one reason or another. Most hadn’t, though. A softie at heart, I began to melt when I heard the unpublished ones explaining to me, between sniffles, that they felt lonely and neglected. They insisted that they wanted to be lofted into cyberspace, hoping to experience the warmth that might come from more eyes than mine gazing upon them.


“I truly understand,” I said to the photos, my eyes tearing up. “But I can’t place all of you on Yeah, Another Blogger. That would be overkill. So, I want each of you guys to examine one another closely and then vote for your ten favorite pix, excluding your own. The top-five vote-getters will be displayed in my next story.”

Naturally, there was some grumbling, since none of the pictures wanted to be left out. But in the end the vote took place. And I am happy to decorate this article with the winners.
In conclusion, all I can say is that, as with many things, we take the wheel for granted. Most likely we’d still be living in frigging caves had it not been invented. Thus, before I forget, I now bow down to Tip and Top. Okay, that’s accomplished. In a few minutes, then, I’m going to head to my car, because I need to run a few errands. Wheels, here I come!
I think my favourite is the Giant’s Table. The lighting and framing are perfect and so are the subtly detailed colours. Now, I’m not sure what or where the Giant’s Table is, but I’m sure Tip, Top, Moan, Groan, and all their relatives will enjoy it. 😉 Great post, Neil. 🙂
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Hello there. “Giant” is the name of a supermarket chain. One of the Giant branches is in my town. I shop there a lot.
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Thanks. 🙂
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Manhattan wheels it is, since I had a close encounter to a set of wheels belonging to a yellow cabbie. Luckily and wheelie happily walked away with not a scratch. Fun post, Neil.
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Hi Suzanne. The Big Apple, as we all know, is really congested. We have to be on our toes there!
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So, I found out with a scare years ago.
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Loved this! Smiling…. Although cave living is sounding kinda good to me now. No politicians, no world wars, no weapons of mass destruction, no school shooters, no labs altering viruses, no Putin. Maybe if we survive, we will be very grateful for the cave, but we probably wouldn’t resist the wheel…. Love your writing and thinking.
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Hi. Politicians are unavoidable, and some of them are very good. But I’m with you in re everything else you mention.
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You have missed your destiny, Neil, as a comic and writer! I am already in a much better mood thanks to your brilliant and witty writing, thank you.
I love every word of your imaginative stories and your hilarious turn of phrase. I am sure that you must have got many girls into bed by making them helpless with laughter! A wonderful combination of the main story and the pictures of wheels! Someone in Hollywood should grab you as a scriptwriter.
What a wonderful start to the day!
Joanna
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Couldn’t agree more!
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Thank you, Basia!
Joanna
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Many thanks!
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A lovely piece of comic whimsy. I wish you wrote more
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Thanks a lot, Basia. I used to publish more often than I now do. But I’m comfortable with my current publishing schedule.
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I always look forward to reading your posts Neil, as you certainly have a pleasing way with words…Tip, Top congrats to….Tip and Top: what talent! On close scrutiny, I noticed how colour featured high in your photographs. Poor Scotland – what a depressing photo! Colour won, and the world needs as much colour as it can get hold of right now. Onwards and upwards. xx
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Afternoon, Joy. I agree with you : “the world needs as much colour as it can get hold of right now.” Colors are powerful, and can elevate our moods and ways of thinking.
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And I really like the Scottish photo….the old and the new and all that. Colour is fantastic and joyous but its not always real. Wheely good post😆
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Hey there. My wife and I were in Scotland a few years ago. We mostly were in Edinburgh, and had a fabulous time.
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A great, humorous post. Speaking of wheels, I recently sold mine (truly, I can often walk faster that some wheels move, thanks to big-city congestion).
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I think that quite a few people have done what you’ve done. It makes sense. You can always take public transit or use Uber/Lyft. And you can rent a car as needed.
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I like the shopping carts’ wheels–just so long as they are oiled and free wheeling.
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Right — shopping carts are a big pain when the wheels are uncooperative!
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So true, so true! What I was struck by, though, were the pleasing patterns that would be easy to overlook—the line of red bikes and the collection of grocery carts.
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Both of those scenes really grabbed me. I HAD to photograph them!
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Easy to see why.
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Funny story and great photos as usual!!!! Keep on rolling along!!!!
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Joyce, you are a loyal reader. Thanks!
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That was a good photograph from Edinburgh…look, a day without rain, sleet or snow!
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I think it rained only once, maybe twice, while we were there. We were lucky.
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Neil, you’re always a big wheel in my book.
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Debra, I thank you.
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Never know what to expect from the latest “Yeah…” post, Neil, which is a big part of the attraction. Animating the inanimate is a blast (though you could argue wheels are animate objects). I was going to vote for the Cape Cod bicycle photo for “most wheels per square inch”, but then I realized the Willow Grove market baskets photo wins in a landslide.
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Hi Dave. There’s a whole lot of shopping cart wheels in that photo, that’s for sure.
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Thanks for another funny round of nuttiness. Once they had wheels, I hope Tip & Top also invented suitcases for trips, although I guess they had all those woolly mammoth trunks.
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Wooly mammoths were very useful to humans!
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I understand they were nice but difficult to paper train.
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Glad you gave some space to those poor, neglected photos.
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I heard their pleas and felt I had to help!
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Great song. Thanks.
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As always, loved the juxtaposition of humor and photography. I’m partial to the New York cabs because of the unusual perspective (back end of one cab, front end of another, ground level).
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There’s so much happening on Big Apple streets, it’s hard to take a bad photo!
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So funny how you connected cavewomen inventing the wheel to you cell phone pictures! Great post! Maggie
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I appreciate that, Maggie. Thanks.
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Once the box had wheels, who then decided to live in it and call it a camper van? Was it the men or the women who had the wanderlust?
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An excellent question, Sam. I’ll have to research that.
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Wheels are a good obsession! Where would we be without the suffering of Moan and Groan?
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I hate to think about it.
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Ha Ha! Big Wheels, Big Mac and Viagra. HuMANkind’s greatest inventions. Emphasis on the man!
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You’ve put the emphasis in the right place.
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Your story was tip-top, Neil. I finally feel enlightened about the origin of wheels. 😀 I’m glad you had a discussion with your neglected photos, caved to their moaning and groaning, and shared some here. Happy road trip.
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To cave or not to cave, that is the question.
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Good stuff, lots of humor, and intriguing photos. Thanks for sharing.
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Mucho gracias, Denise. Appreciated!
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I remember Giant Supermarket. There was one on Queens Blvd, NY where I grew up. Thanks for the blast from the past.
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I grew up in Roslyn, (Nassau County), about 8 or 10 miles from the Queens border. Which section of Queens were you in?
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Not too far from the LI border. We may have crossed each other’s when we were younger. But, I’m 67, not sure if there is a big age gap.
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I’m older than you, but there’s a real possibility that we were at the same place at the same time. Maybe at the World’s Fair, or at a baseball game, etc.
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The world’s fair. Now that’s a blast from the past.
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Always enjoy your humor, Neil 😀 I agree that we do take the wheel for granted. Of the photos featured, the shopping cart rarely gets the attention it truly deserves. Bravo!
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I got back from a supermarket 30 minutes ago. A shopping cart there made the shopping experience MUCH better than it would have been without one!
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We are all indebted to Tip and Top! Fun story, Neil, thank you!
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Tip and Top made life better for succeeding generations, that’s for certain.
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a wonderfully imagined and narrated origin story, Neil; love those caveman voices 🙂
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The people were very articulate all those millennia ago.
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Neil you are always fun to read, your story about Moan and Groan and Tip and Top made me laugh, as always.
Take care and best wishes!
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Thank you!
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Thanks for the fun read!
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Hi. Glad you liked it. Have a good week!
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Sometimes it’s not easy to come full circle, but you did it, Neil. 😊
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You can’t beat 360 degrees.
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That is the most amazing lead-in to a post I’ve ever read. Kudos.
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Hey, you’re making me blush.
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I am so thankful to Tip and Top for their inventions 😉 And I am glad the prize-winning photos got to escape the phone’s gallery to be seen by many! You’re so funny. No wonder I’ve been following you here for years!
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Hi Christy, and thanks. Your site is excellent. Keep up the good work!
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Awe, that’s so nice! Thank you, Neil
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On International Women’s Day I am pleased to learn that the inventors of the wheel were – of course – women!
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They made the modern world possible.
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Loved the pix of the red bicycles! And a rip of the topper to Tip and Top!
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Hi. That bike store is In Orleans, which is the Cape Cod town my wife and I rent a house in for our Cape vacations. Orleans is a fine town.
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I thought I was a champ in the anthropomorphism department, Neil, but your teary-eyed tribute to your photos topped anything I could imagine. I tip my imaginary hat to you!
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Evening, Annie. Those photos wanted to get out into the world. I couldn’t ignore their concerns.
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Hi, Neil. I certainly understand your compassionate decision. You had no choice.
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Thanks, Neil! What a fun post, and I love the photos.
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Mucho gracias!
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Very clever and funny story and love this new selection of photos. You’ve been around a bit!
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Thanks Alyson. I appreciate it.
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That was very entertaining!
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Thanks very much.
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Who else, but you, would have Moan moaning and Groan groaning.
Literary genius. I guffawed.
And enjoyed the pics too.
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Hi. They eventually stopped moaning and groaning because of Tip’s and Top’s great inventions.
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Orleans Cycle gets my vote, although the absolute winner is the Tip and Top story. Highly entertaining as always, Neil.
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Hi George. Please remember to stop for a moment each day to give thanks to Tip and Top.
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I will indeed!
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What a delightful post, Neil! I love all the photos, but those powered bikes, aka motorcycles, get my vote. And just think: if it weren’t for Tip and Top, I wouldn’t be getting ready to wheel through my day to the strains of this famous Chet Atkins version of “Wheels.”
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Hi Linda. That’s a good tune. It makes driving less aggravating than it otherwise would be.
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Thanks, Tip and Top. Sure made my/our lives easier. Moan and Groan – hey, this is why a positive attitude is necessary. Otherwise, you’re left behind with a dead mammoth. Fun wheel photos. For some reason I most like the grocery carts – no clue why, since I hyperventilate every time I have to go to the grocery story.
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Hi. You know, I’ve been hundreds of times to the supermarket where I took the shopping carts photo. I never pay much attention to them, except on this particular day when the scene really caught my eye.
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Hooray for wheels … but why is it ‘man’ gets credit for the wheel when it was Tip and Top? I guess it was a man’s world even back then! Fun post and great photos!
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I’m going to start a campaign to have Tip and Top officially recognized, by the United Nations, for their great achievements.
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Very entertaining Neil. Thanks for the smile.
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Hi Lynne. Glad you liked it.
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Love this post! Where do the ideas come from???? Wheels indeed! Chuckle, Muriel
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Where would we be without wheels? I don’t even want to think about it!
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Well, the NYC mini-cabs (?) caught my attention–making me wonder just how tiny cabs are destined to become–but as someone who is extremely enviro-conscious, I vote for the shopping carts. No fossil fuels. No worries over finding an electric vehicle charging station. You can go anywhere in a shopping cart–and the feel of the wind whipping through your hair (especially sailing downhill!) is incomparable.
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Away we go. Whee!!
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Delightful story
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Thank you kindly.
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You got me, now I will be looking at wheels wherever I go with renewed appreciation and interest. Thanks for the chuckle.
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Thanks for adding your thoughts. I think that just about everybody, including me, takes the wheel for granted.
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As I sit here moaning and groaning about winter’s hold and the snow globe that keeps shaking outside my window, I’m spinning my wheels wondering how many tip-top things in life I take for granted. Thanks for the reminder of what we can be grateful for! Like your fun posts and the pictures that make us smile!
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Speaking of winter: oddly, here in southeast Pennsylvania we’ve had almost zero snow this winter. We commonly used to have lots of snow. Strange days.
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I agree, strange days indeed! I remember hearing about those heavy snow storms in PA. Hopefully you’ll get enough moisture to help plants grow, etc.
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