A week ago I paid a visit to my long-time barber, Paul. His mission? To make presentable the three strands of hair remaining on the crown of my head. Or is it five? Hang on, I’m going to take a look in the bathroom mirror. I’ll be back in a sec.
Here I am again. It’s five. And those motherf*ckers are lookin’ good!
Where was I? Ah yes, my barber, Paul.
Now, this guy is something else. Paul’s smart. He’s goofy, approaching the world from twisted angles. He cuts hair really well. And, despite being deep into his 70s, puts in nine or more hours at the job, six days a week. Paul’s got energy up the wazoo, and makes hordes of the world’s workers, no matter what their age, look like slackers. If he hangs up his scissors one day, the town in which his barber shop is located ought to erect a statue in his honor. And the inscription on the statue should include words such as these: “Paul’s work ethic was superb. You think you work hard? Think again, homie. Compared to Paul, you probably don’t.”
During that recent visit to Paul’s establishment, he posed a question. “How long have you been retired, Neil?” he asked while contemplating how to handle those five strands of hair.
I tensed up a bit at Paul’s inquiry. Retired? I’ve got to tell you that I don’t like the sound of that word when it’s directed at me. Sure, I left my government-work career in 2009. And sure, I’m in the early stage of my septuagenarian era. But I’m not retired, at least not by my way of looking at things. I mean, I do a decent amount of volunteer work every week. And I sweat bullets turning out the stories that I launch into cyberspace, such as the one you’re reading right now. Between volunteering and writing, I’m clocking up an average of about 20 hours of work weekly. That isn’t in Paul’s league, but it ain’t bad.
Anyway, I explained to Paul that I’m still a part of the workforce, though unpaid, and then let him have a go at the strands.
Indeed, I like to work. I need the structure that working provides, and I value the physical and mental energies that work requires. And, happily, I’m a recipient of job satisfaction: My volunteer gigs — for two shifts each week I man the information desk in a medical office building — agree with me. As does writing, though in a masochistic sort of way. The bottom line is that I have no plans to ditch my occupations.
What would occur if I put my work aside? Nothing to write home about, that’s for sure. I’d have way too many additional hours to fill comfortably. I already regularly indulge in good stuff such as concert-going, museum-visiting and traveling here and there, and don’t have the urge to devote more hours to those pursuits. No, if I stopped working I’d probably spend more time than ever on my living room sofa, where I’ve become expert at idly surfing the Web, snacking, and scratching my balls to make sure they haven’t shrunk. Working’s a better alternative.
Yes, there’s a lot to be said for working. And substantial numbers of folks in my age bracket, and older, are still heavily in the game. Some of my relatives and friends who are card-carrying seniors, for example, rival or surpass Paul in the number of hours they expend on their jobs. A few of them wouldn’t have it otherwise, being in love with their chosen fields. And then there’s the childhood pal of mine who continues to work full-time as a lawyer. I was at lunch with him last month. Unlike the people I just mentioned, he’s not fully enthralled by his occupation, but he knows himself well enough not to leave it behind. “What else am I going to do?” he asked me. “Mow my lawn all day?” He thinks like me. And he likes his place in life.
On the other hand, I also have relatives and friends in the seniors camp who no longer work and are as happy as clams. They lead fulfilling lives and have no regrets about occupying the post-employment category. You can’t do much better than that. After all, whether we’re employed or not, achieving happiness and feeling fulfilled are among our top goals, right? And by our, I’m referring, I figure, to about 75% of dear Planet Earth’s human residents, not just to seniors.
Family life, social life, work, hobbies, studying, spirituality, creative endeavors . . . these and other avenues, usually taken in one combination or another, can make our goals reality, whatever our age. Different strokes for different folks, and all that. Life’s cool that way.
Okay, sermon over. Amen. Class dismissed.
(Please don’t be shy about adding your comments or about sharing this piece. Sharing buttons are below. Mucho gracias.)
Yeah, Another Blogger 
The important thing is to be content with what one chooses to do or not do.
LikeLiked by 4 people
Absolutely correct.
LikeLike
Among the truer words you wrote Neil was your reference to work as a ‘game’. That it surely is. Some people would dub the game ‘SURVIVOR’.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Life in general can be looked at that way, I suppose. Learning to handle the games comfortably is a key.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve always believed volunteering was important, my parents showed this example to me. If not in an ongoing way, finding some way still to give to the community or a charity. I think it contributes to satisfaction with oneself and supporting community. Very satisfying also.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Right, being helpful to others is one of the best ways for us to spend time.
LikeLiked by 1 person
As a guy with zero strands of hair on his head, I found myself enjoying a chuckle when I read this! On the other hand, I dread the concept of retirement, because I’ve always been the type who defines myself through the work I do.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Right, untold numbers of people feel that way. If the work is fulfilling, that’s a good way to live life, I think. You’ll find, though, that other activities also will fulfill you in your “senior” years.
LikeLiked by 1 person
All my retired friends thought I should love retirement, and didn’t understand why it was such a tough adjustment for me. I taught high school for 37 years, and was used to a routine, lots of interaction with people, using my brain and creativity, and staying busy. Making my own schedule was very difficult; I felt lost for the first year or so. Now I have what I call a flexible routine–I travel, I run and walk, I go to films and out for coffee, I substitute teach at my old school when I feel like it. Sometimes I just sit in the recliner with my laptop and a coffee. I’ve learned to relax.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Hi there. Your way of dividing up your time is very similar to mine.
LikeLike
I read this post with great interest as I’m considering leaving my employment in a bit more than two years. My job is very high stress, and while I enjoy it a lot, there are days when I think I can feel my blood pressure going up. Actually, today was one of them. I’m looking forward to volunteering, travelling, and doing the female equivalent of ball scratching. 😉 But I wonder sometimes if it’s all it’s cracked up to be. Good post. 🙂
LikeLiked by 4 people
Hi Lynette. I think that the thing to do, when you leave your job, is to have on hand a variety of activities, and some people, that you want to spend time with. I’m sure you will.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think it is important to consider why you do what you do. If it means more than money to you, then keep on doing it. No sweat!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Right. Finding happiness, feeling fulfilled, helping others, etc. are very, very important.
LikeLike
What’s that saying? ‘Live to work, don’t work to live.’ I wish everyone did volunteer work one day a week, it would make this world a better place for sure. Nice post, G 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
Hi, and thanks for adding your thoughts. There are many, many organizations where people can volunteer, as you know. Much of the work that volunteers do is really important to society.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Life is what you make of it and when you decide that it’s up to you to define yourself, you can be any old thing you want to be. As long as you’re not hurting anyone and you’re happy, carry on, kids.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thumbs up to that!
LikeLike
Norman Vincent Peale, author of “The Power of Positive Thinking” said, ‘Forget your age and live your life.’ and me, Jerry Snider, author of “Buddy Bloom Wildflower”, I say, ROCK ON NEIL! AS LONG AS YOU HEAR THE MUSIC, ROCK ON!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hey there, Jerry. I think I said this once before in response to your comments: I’m trying!
LikeLike
I enjoyed my work life but find work retirement fun. More time for travel, working out at gym everyday, going to museums etc with friends . My health is great and that is the most important .
LikeLiked by 1 person
Joyce, you’re one of the busiest people that I know. And you are doing things that you enjoy. It’s great.
LikeLike
You’re right that there’s so many different directions that one can take after retirement. I’m a fairly recent retiree that doesn’t have it dialed in as well as you do, but I hope to get there soon. Your post gives me some things to think about.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah, it can take a while. You’ll do fine.
LikeLike
I escaped from university…best thing I ever did…not in that moment…but now as I’ve reinvented myself…it’s another chapter ☺️🤓 have a joyful day Neil ~ smiles Hedy 💫
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’ve found good pathways.
Hi Hedy. See ya!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m grateful for loved ones fore sure Neil ☺️🙋♀️
LikeLiked by 1 person
I don’t remember the last time I scratched my balls to see whether they’ve shrunk. Perhaps, I’m not doing this enough. The trouble is I already have too much I want to fit into my home life and I have feeling trying this at work might be frowned upon.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Right, pay attention to work etiquette. You don’t want to lose your job!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Retirement is a dated word and concept, really. If you love what you do, regardless of whether you’re paid or not, then keep at it.
How you connect to others in the real and virtual world is worth a lot.
🙂 eden
LikeLiked by 1 person
Everything you say is 100% on the money. Thanks for adding your thoughts, Eden. I appreciate it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m with Eden–people change jobs, not retire from life. I like your mix of activities. I write 10 hours a day, don’t make a living at it, and can’t imagine life without my keyboard. I do wish I’d mix things up more, as you do!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hey, writing fulfills you. It’s your passion.
LikeLike
I agree about the need to keep busy in retirement. But we are, I think, in a minority of the world’s population in that we have the luxury of even thinking about that.
LikeLiked by 1 person
H. Very good to hear from you. I’m not sure that we’re in the minority, but you’re right that hordes of people can’t afford to stop working.
LikeLike
All very true, Neil. I tick the Retired box on the sort of forms you have to do that, but I never describe myself as a retired librarian. I AM a librarian, even if I don’t get paid for it these days.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You keep busy as can be. You set a very fast pace!
LikeLiked by 1 person
“Family life, social life, work, hobbies, studying, spirituality, creative endeavors . . . these and other avenues, usually taken in one combination or another, can make our goals reality. Different strokes for different folks, and all that. Life’s cool that way.”
Beautifully put!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Laurie. I appreciate it.
LikeLike
RETIRED is such an ugly word. It sounds like something unwanted, discarded and put out to die. Not so. It’s just another stage of life. I’m lucky enough that I can get to do all the things I couldn’t do when I was younger. Except maybe sky-diving. Nice post Neil.
LikeLiked by 1 person
New opportunities often open as we climb the age ladder. That’s a great thing.
LikeLike
Yeah, you don’t seem like the retiring type, Neil. My grandfather theoretically retired at 75 and moved upstate near us, but kept driving down to NYC to finish up a few things, every other week, for years. When he stopped that, he started going to lectures at the local Forum, and doing an “Eye on the Court” thing for the League of Women Voters (so then my grandmother was employed full-time, keeping on eye on him around the Women Voters) (just kidding). Glad you’re staying in play!
LikeLiked by 2 people
I’ve got plenty of leisure time, and probably could fill some of it more fruitfully. But overall I’m doing okay!
Hi Robert. Enjoy the warming days.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Those of us living in sixty year old houses, with parents in retirement homes and grandchildren to babysit know that retirement is often more work! Add to it volunteering, maintaining a blog and supporting other bloggers – doesn’t leave much time for that rocking chair on the porch.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi JT. Right, I think there are way fewer rocking chairs in use than there used to be.
LikeLike
It’s true, work doesn’t always equate to a pay check! I walk shelter dogs three days a week, and trust me, that’s real, physical work (and I have the bruises and sore muscles to prove it), so I also get annoyed when people tell me that I don’t work. I do work, I just don’t get paid.
As for this time of your life, I agree that everyone gets to choose how much they do or don’t want to work then. Keep on doing your own thing, Neil!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Afternoon, Ann. In what sorts of places do you walk the dogs? In parks?
LikeLiked by 1 person
We stay within a couple of blocks of the shelter. But that includes a park the shelter owns which is across the street. Otherwise, we just go on the sidewalks and there is a pen in the park we can use as well.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Always witty.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi Martie, and thanks. I’m glad you liked this story.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for volunteering, Neil, and thanks also for writing about the “different strokes for different folks” part of the retirement experience. Like you, I had a career in government work, and since then I’ve had people ask me what on earth I do all day. Well, like you, I spend lots of hours writing, and I also did volunteer work until my back gave out on me a year and a half ago. I’m hoping to start back with volunteering again soon, though. I do miss having daily interactions with people — the kinds of interactions you undoubtedly enjoy while manning the medical information desk. In any case, I always say that the two things I like best about retirement are 1) no alarm clocks, and 2) no need to ask anyone’s permission to take a day off. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Paula, I have to admit that I still use an alarm clock. But your second point is something I love too: Not having to get someone’s permission is a great thing.
Volunteering awaits your return. See ya!
LikeLike
Neil, you’re a constant source of inspiration for us fiftysomethings full of crazy hopes and dreams! Keep on rocking.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah, it’s fun to have fun.
LikeLiked by 1 person
To my thinking, by way of your writing, you’re still about 28—maybe 32 years old. And being onery, talented, clever, thoughtful, sharing, good, and giving you’re still one hell of a kid. I enjoy knowing you, Neil.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hey man, you’re making me blush!
LikeLike
Neil, I just began a long reply to your blog and in the middle of it Iost it to a cyoerspace black hole. Acck! That is one reason I don’t comment more often. Sorry…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi Cynthia. Dodging those black holes can be challenging!
LikeLike
I’m glad to hear your life is fulfilled, Neil. The problem I see for some retirees is the lack of any interest or hobby besides work before retirement. Some people in this situation manage to fill the void, but others it’s a real struggle. I
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi. Right, having varied interests can make life a smoother ride. A more interesting ride too.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Absolutely true.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi Neil,
Volunteering is great work! I do some myself and enjoy it very much. Glad you have found such a fine barber in Paul, both of you with strong work ethics.
Take care,
Suzanne
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hello there, Suzanne. What sort of volunteer work do you do?
LikeLiked by 1 person
I host a storytime twice a week at a local preschool for 2-4 year olds. It’s called Book Buddy and is an outreach of our local library.
LikeLiked by 1 person
👍👍
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great post, 😊I agree with you and I think that writers tend to never want to stop. 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
It can bring fulfillment. Partial fulfillment, anyway.
Thanks for stopping by. See you —
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great post, Neil! I feel we are on the same wavelength. I’m 53, work at a non-profit 25 hours a week and feel I am living my best life. My work keeps me engaged and satisfied because I’m being productive and bringing in a little money. But because it’s just 25 hours a week, I’ve got the time I never had before (working full time as a social worker) to pursue other interests. Like writing my blog, spending more time with my family, being more active in my church (primarily through service projects and social gatherings). I feel much more alive and enthusiastic about life as a result.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi Rhonda. You’ve created a real good balance. 👍👍
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s interesting that only “paid” work is considered work, and therefore, if you’re not “paid” you’re “retired.” My husband subscribes to this viewpoint about me even though I volunteer every week in the community, care for grandchildren and parents, write about 40 hrs per week, and do all the wifely cooking and housework. I think he’s retired at his measly 40-hour job. Lol.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You know, a previous commenter said something to the effect that “retired” is an outdated term. I think that’s true.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are a funny guy Neil. I hear there’s some wack jog in Philly actually plucking the last strands of hair off of guys your age. Be careful and keep your eyes open (maybe a hat). I wonder what he’s using the hairs for?
LikeLiked by 1 person
My next order of business is to buy a hat!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I could go back and forth with you on this take. So much material.
LikeLiked by 1 person
What are your thoughts on the subject?
LikeLiked by 1 person
On the hat subject. Definitely. You are a hat guy. You would make a hat look good.
On the other subject that you were on, just keeping doing the do fella. Sounds like it’s working. Don’t fuck with it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I totally agree Neil, it takes all kinds to make a world ! In fact it’s fortunate that we don’t all do the same things. Work is actually very fulfilling much of the time, and when I retired I missed my work for the first year or two. Work pushes us beyond our routine and makes us discover new fields, develop talents we didn’t know we had.
Alan from Paris
LikeLiked by 1 person
Bonjour Alan. I was going to say “thanks for adding your thoughts” in French, but I’d sound stupid if I tried. Anyway, you have created a very good post-employment life for yourself. Sandy and I just got home from the Philadelphia Flower Show. If you and Martine visit us some year in March, we’ll all go to it together. It’s real good.
LikeLike
I don’t know how happy clams are, Neil, but I’ve been retired twenty years now and I fill my time pretty well between gym, writing, spending time with my girlfriend, volunteering one day a week,
.writing — oh, did I mention that? —visiting family. So I guess I am happy as a clam 🙂 good post, Neil; your blog always presents a meaty read best done over a slice of toast and a coffee 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’ve put together a good combination. You know what’s what.
See ya!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I laughed out loud at your opening, Neil. 🙂
But I hear you. I think if a person is bored in retirement, she is just a boring person!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi. Right, there are any number of good ways to stay occupied.
Enjoy the weekend. See ya!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Only catching this now – busy in retirement just like you. I do no work but keep myself busily occupied with gardening, days out, photography, reading and writing and I have do desire whatsoever to return to any sort of work work. My mother in law used comment on her work that it was a reason to get out of the bed, to wash her face, to get out and to meet people. Without that, she felt life would be very quiet and lonely for her.
I had a similar barber, now dead some years, who would cut my hair and say, “That’ll be £10, Paddy. That’s 50 pence for the haircut and £9.50 for the time it took me to find it.”
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi Paddy. I can tell from your articles that you are heavily involved in various activities, and that you get a whole lot of satisfaction from them. To a large extent, that’s what life is about.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, that and beer!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great piece, Neil. “Retired?” What’s that. When my husband left the university where he’d taught for 35 years, he told people he “graduated.” That seems a good way to look at. We just move on to new pursuits, whatever gives us pleasure! Cheers!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi. You and your husband are totally correct.
Thanks for the visit. Have fun this weekend.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks. You, too!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hey Neil, You didn’t mention your part-time job of walking around and looking at things. I think that would look good at the top of your resume.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you for reminding me!
LikeLike
That’s why there is vanilla AND chocolate ice cream, right? There are many paths to take in life, and the one that feels right for you is the right one. Cheers. Keep writing.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Exactly.
LikeLike
I like the comment I overheard one time: My husband is retired. Me? I’m tired, over and over again.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah, the husband needs to get out of the house.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re definitely a doer, not a sitter and complainer.
It’s like Brad Pitt said in “World War Z,” — “Movement is life.”
Physically and mentally.
Otherwise, that’s all she wrote!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Hi Stacey. We all need to stay physically and mentally active as best we can. Life’s better that way, for sure. Take care. Enjoy the upcoming week.
LikeLiked by 1 person
“Indeed, I like to work. I need the structure that working provides, and I value the physical and mental energies that work requires.”
I hear you, Neil. I’ve always been grateful that writing is a profession one need never give up until they toss you in the grave.So many really good people I know act as if their life ended at 50.Hey, I was just getting into my really good phase then. I say never give up, never back down, keep going no matter what, and make your enemies take you out. Don’t do it for them.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re right on the money. We’re on this planet for only x number of years. Might as well try to make a real good go of it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Neil, an important topic which you introduce with your usual humour! 😀 A couple of my mother’s friends were so defined by their job they were terrified to take retirement, kept putting it off! Within a year of retirement they wondered why they had feared it so and thoroughly enjoyed this next stage of their life. However, first there is a huge adjustment to make. Enjoy your volunteer work,your days and mind those strands of hairs … I’m worried the barber’s scissors seemed awfully close to them! 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
I have confidence in my barber!
LikeLiked by 2 people
My parents retired a few years ago, and now I can hardly ever reach them. They are so busy! But, like you, they seem happy and fulfilled, and I’m proud of them for living the life they want to live.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi Ruth. Your folks have found/created excellent pathways.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I like the structure that work brings as well–in all of its forms–paid or unpaid. Cheers!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hello, Cecilia. For me, life is a bit too free-form without some amount of work.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Neil, I had no idea you worked for the government — as do I. Cheers to public servants. May they never go out of fashion. And I don’t think retired is a name that fits you either. ;0)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Evening, Pam. I was with the Pennsylvania Dept of Public Welfare.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well, thank you for your service. 😍
LikeLiked by 1 person
Timely blog post! I’m heading towards retirement soon!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hey there. Many thanks for stopping by. You’ll have a good time after your job ends.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m sure I will!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I like your thinking, Neil. I feel I’ve been lucky in never having had to spend long in a job I didn’t find interesting. You sound like you’ve found a comfortable balance, that’s quite a trick to achieve – my congratulations.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You enjoy your work. That’s an excellent thing. It makes life better.
Hi Cath. Thanks a lot for adding your thoughts.
LikeLiked by 1 person