Life

Old As Shit

Yeah, Another Blogger142 Comments

I picked up after the first ring when my editor Edgar Reewright phoned me last week, because I figured he was anxious to discuss the essay for Yeah, Another Blogger that I’d emailed him the day before.

“Hello, Edgar,” I said. “How goes it? What do you think of the article? Will it need much editing?”

“Neil, have any of your pieces ever not needed loads of editing?  I mean, it’s all I can do to make your writings even somewhat presentable. I haven’t looked at your latest opus yet, though. I’ll get to it fairly soon. But I didn’t call to talk business.”

“Okay. What’s up?”

“I haven’t been in the strongest frame of mind lately,” Edgar said, sighing loudly, “so I’m hoping that maybe you can help me put things in perspective. I’ve been thinking about mortality a lot, you see, and it’s getting me down. I became a senior citizen ages ago, but until recently I didn’t consider myself an old man. All of that changed when I celebrated my 86th birthday with my wife Loretta last month. Towards the end of the meal, Loretta went into the kitchen and came out a few minutes later with a big birthday cake. There were 87 candles, one of them for good luck, burning brightly on it. The number of candles absolutely stunned me. They took up so much space, you barely could see the top of the cake. I’m old as shit, Neil, and I don’t like it.”

“Yes, Edgar, you are old as shit. But, overall, you’re fine and dandy nonetheless. Oh, except for the medicinal help your mighty sword requires in order to perform halfway decently with Loretta, of course. And the adult diapers you wouldn’t dare leave the house without wearing. And your incurable bad breath that rivals the odors at a garbage dump. Have I forgotten anything?”

“No, you haven’t. And how I wish you weren’t privy to such information. Even though we’ve never met in person, it’s entirely my fault that you know about these things, since I have trouble keeping my trap shut whenever we speak on the phone.”

“Very true. However, your tendency to divulge sensitive and embarrassing matters does make you a bit loveable. You’d be intolerable, otherwise. Anyway, I’m now going to try and cheer you up.”

“Thank you, Neil. I appreciate it.”

“Let’s start with some humor. Edgar, did you hear about Thomas I. Toldyaso, the aged astrophysicist who kicked the bucket last week?”

“No. What about him?”

“Everyone expected him to pass away with barely a whimper,” I said. “Instead, he went out with a big bang!”

“Not bad, Neil, not bad. That joke makes me wonder about my exit from this mortal coil. Will a horrible disease do me in? Will anyone actually care that I’m gone? I tell you, I feel the end isn’t too far off. The Grim Reaper has me in his sights. What shall I do? Oh, what shall I do?”

“Relax, Edgar! You’re strong as a bull. Even if The Grim Reaper taps you on the shoulder any time soon, I have no doubt you’ll grab him by the cowl and throw him back whence he came.”

“Whence? Are you kidding me, Neil? Only you would ever use the word whence. I better never see it in one of your blog stories. They’re awkward and lifeless enough as it is.”

Edgar paused for a moment, possibly deep in thought. Then he continued. “So, you think I’m strong as a bull, do you?”

“Absolutely, Edgar. I’m certain you have 10 more solid years in you. And 15 is more like it, most likely. Why, your energy and focus leave me in the dust, even though I’m a decade younger than you. Don’t be down in the dumps, Edgar. Just keep on keepin’ on!”

Once again Edgar took a moment to consider what I’d said. When he spoke, he was back in the saddle.

“Neil, all of a sudden I am feeling so much better. I wasn’t at all sure that you’d be of any help whatsoever when I decided to call you a little while ago. But I made the right choice. Thank you so much! The skies have brightened. I see a lengthy, excellent future in front of me. I now will get back to work, tackling the undoubtedly sorry-ass article you sent to me yesterday. Oh well, such is the life of an editor. Have a good day!”

“Goodbye, Edgar. It’s been a pleasure. Sort of.”

Driving Me Crazy

Yeah, Another Blogger150 Comments

As readers of this publication know, fairly often I make mention of the facts that I’m f*cking old (my internal tree added its 76th ring a few months ago), and that I ain’t thrilled about being way closer to the end than to the beginning of my residency on Planet Earth. I’m not obsessed or anything like that with these thoughts, but they clearly are on my mind.

Still, the nature of my life isn’t all that different from what it was 25 or more years ago, except that I no longer work fulltime. I’m in decent shape and health, and I continue to pursue my interests: writing pieces for this website, for instance, and leaving the comfort of my abode to take in concerts, movies, art exhibitions, restaurant meals and the great outdoors pretty regularly. I’m damn lucky, overall. I have little to complain about.

That being said, I’m now about to lodge a major complaint, as there is one activity that annoys the crap out of me and puts me on edge. Consistently. Up until about 15 years ago it didn’t, which makes me think that becoming old as dirt has made me more sensitive to its challenges. Or maybe I simply reached an inevitable breaking point. Whatever, here’s what I’m referring to: driving my car.

There’s no such thing as a casual, pleasant drive anymore. Not for me, anyway, a guy whose nerves apparently are half-shot. I’m just fed up with the enormous number of vehicles out there, the roadwork projects and lane closures you’re destined to run into most days, and the tricky situations you constantly have to navigate. Not to mention the assholes running red lights, tailgating, and blithely turning in front of oncoming traffic. Basically, me no like!

Hell, even on my quiet neighborhood’s residential blocks (I live in Willow Grove, a town near Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, USA), it’s a miracle when a delivery truck or other vehicle isn’t partially or fully blocking my way, or when my view of potential cross-traffic at intersections isn’t obscured by cars parked head-to-toe along the curbs. If I resided in Philadelphia or some other city with a good public transportation system, I could make do without a car. Here in the burbs, though, I need one. So, I grit my teeth and keep my fingers crossed when behind the wheel.

On my way to the supermarket, on Old York Road.

The other day was a classic, driving-wise, and not in a good sense. There I was, in late afternoon, hoping to make a right turn out of my neighborhood onto Old York Road, a major corridor. My destination? A supermarket about three-quarters of a mile from my house. Holy shit! I couldn’t turn, because traffic was backed up for 500 or more feet on Old York, the result, undoubtedly, of a train sitting at, or approaching or leaving the Willow Grove train station (I wasn’t able to make out exactly what was going on). After what seemed like forever, I nudged my way into a long line of cars on Old York. And several minutes later, the vehicles in front of me finally able to inch along, I reached and crossed the railroad tracks. At last, the supermarket was almost within shouting distance. Hallelujah!

On my way home from the supermarket, on Old York Road.

What made the afternoon extra special is that I became enmeshed in a similar situation on the way home from the market. As I neared the train tracks, the gates that descend when a train is approaching did their thing. Down they went, the red lights attached to them flashing. A train eventually pulled into the station and eventually continued on its way. And eventually I arrived home. Man, I could have made the trips to and from the supermarket faster on foot than in my car, a laughable and pathetic truth.

Okay, rant over. In memory of the days when driving commonly was fun for me, I’ll leave you with a smoker from Tom Petty And The Heartbreakers: Runnin’ Down A Dream, which was released in 1989. The recording, as potent as freedom, almost is enough to convince me that carefree driving experiences might come my way once again. Here’s hoping.

It’s A Wonderful Life . . . Or Is It?

Yeah, Another Blogger153 Comments

My better half and I jointly watch an hour or more of television fare five or six evenings each week. Mostly we dial up series, with the occasional movie thrown into the mix. During the second half of December, however, we went movie-crazy, by our standards, what with five flicks passing before our eyes. In chronological order, they were: A Thousand And One; A Million Miles Away; Maestro; Rustin; It’s A Wonderful Life. All came out last year, excepting It’s A Wonderful Life, which, since its release in 1946, has ascended to an exalted status reached by few films. I’m now going to devote a few words to it and to A Thousand And One, as they, unlike the others on the list, seem to be in no hurry to fade from my mind. They made a strong impression on me and got me thinking.

I’d seen It’s A Wonderful Life once or twice before, but not in ages. Not blessed with the world’s finest memory, I might as well have been viewing it for the first time last month, so few of the scenes did I recall. Well, all I can say is, “Wow!” IAWL deserves its immense popularity and the high esteem millions of folks hold it in. This is a great movie, one that pulls at your heartstrings and does its darnedest to make you believe in the basic goodness of humankind. Hats off to that.

Frank Capra, also of Mr. Smith Goes To Washington and It Happened One Night fame, directed It’s A Wonderful Life. For those of you who haven’t seen the film, be aware that spoilers lie ahead. I’m confident they won’t lessen your enjoyment should you choose to view it.

IAWL tells the tale of George Bailey (played flawlessly by James Stewart), a generous, caring individual who discovers that his company, through no fault of his own, suddenly is on the verge of bankruptcy. Distraught, and finding no way to right the sinking ship, he decides to put an end to his earthly existence. The money his wife Mary (the superb Donna Reed) then would collect from his life insurance policy would keep her and their children sheltered and fed for a long while.

Moments before George is about to carry out his plan, a heavenly force — Clarence, a low-level guardian angel trying to earn his wings — intervenes. Clarence’s efforts, and those of Mary, save the day. George learns that his importance to his family and community is immeasurable, and that his many friends truly love him. Anyone whose heart is not encased in granite will find themselves tearing up at It’s A Wonderful Life’s happy ending, an ending that implies that never again will George allow despair to conquer him. George will be okay.

But will Terry, a main character in A Thousand And One, be okay? That’s a worrisome unknown in the powerhouse drama written and directed by A.V. Rockwell.

We first meet Terry (played by three actors, one for each time period the movie covers) in the mid-1990s. He’s six years old at that time, a foster-care child lonely for his absent mother Inez. Portrayed with swagger by Teyana Taylor, Inez is armed with eyes that don’t miss a thing.  She is barely into her twenties and always has lived on society’s edges. Inez re-enters Terry’s life after being released from prison, soon taking him, illegally, from his foster parents. For the next eleven years she tries as best she can to raise him. Ultimately, however, circumstances catch up with them big-time.

A Thousand And One pulls no punches. Set mostly in New York City’s Harlem section, it often is as gritty as a sandstorm. I’ve given away much of the ending of It’s A Wonderful Life. I won’t do the same with A Thousand And One, whose concluding scenes I didn’t see coming. Those scenes left me concerned, not for street-savvy Inez’s prospects, but for those of shy and gentle Terry. For the most part, I’ve led a stable and comfortable life. A Thousand And One has me counting my lucky stars.

What a world we live in. So much poverty and inequality. So much violence and emotional trauma. So much intolerance, indifference and deception. That’s the way things always have been. And, I believe, always will be. There also is beauty in our world, of course. And love and joy and kindness. It can’t be denied, though, that life is a very rocky road for multitudes of people. Too many Terrys, and other unfortunates, are out there. If only it were otherwise.

I Like Them (A Book, A TV Series, A Song)

Yeah, Another Blogger144 Comments

Nine Inches, a collection of fiction stories from the pen of Tom Perrotta, and published in 2013, seemed to be calling to me last month as I browsed the shelves of my local library, though I’d never heard of Perrotta before. I should have been familiar with his name, however, since, as I later learned, he’s a successful author. In fact, two of his novels (Election; Little Children) have been turned into movies, and another (The Leftovers) into a television series.

With nothing to lose, I brought Nine Inches home. I’m glad I did. I mean, Perrotta can write. He sharply examines the human mind and emotions, effortlessly illuminating the quirks, insecurities, maladjustments and f*cked-up decisions that run rampant in our species, and which can propel people’s lives in unanticipated directions, some of them most unfortunate. He does so with sentence after sentence that go down as easily as your favorite comfort food and also, when needed, pack a hell of a punch.

Take the opening story in the volume, for instance. It’s titled Backrub, and chronicles the days and nights of Donald, a bright kid just out of high school. The victim of misaligned stars, he was rejected by every college he applied to. Wobbled by this injustice, he takes a job as a pizza delivery person and, after a while, not caring enough to want to try and right his ship, slides comfortably into dealing drugs. Perrotta’s gift for language shines in this paragraph near the story’s conclusion.

It all went down so fast. I barely had time to register the lights in my rearview mirror when I saw two more cop cars right in front of me, blocking the intersection. I got out with my hands on my head, like they told me to, and the next thing I knew I was lying facedown in the street, with my hands cuffed behind my back.

Perrotta’s writing style agrees with me. It’s taut and uncomplicated. He takes on a wide variety of subjects in Nine Inches (unfulfilling marriages, a lonely widow, an insecure teacher, to name a few), and brings them to life with clarity. While reading Perrotta’s stories, I subconsciously kept thinking to myself, “Man, this seems real.” That’s a solid compliment.

On the other hand, not all that much about the television series The Lincoln Lawyer seems truly real, except for some courtroom scenes. But that’s more than okay. Sure, Mickey Haller — aka The Lincoln Lawyer — is preternaturally quick on his feet. But that only adds to his likeability. He and the show’s other main characters are good people, loyal to each other, and don’t take shit from anyone. I’m down with all of that. (By the way, a film version of TLL came out in 2011. It’s good.)

My wife Sandy and I polished off season two of The Lincoln Lawyer recently, after watching season one earlier this year. Both rock, two even more than one. In the second season, Haller (played by Manuel Garcia-Rulfo), who does a good bit of his best work-related thinking while driving or being driven in one of his Lincolns, finds himself defending a lady accused of murder. Not all that many hours before she is brought up on charges, she and Haller were in bed together, enjoying the heck out of one another. What, you’d expect otherwise? But, hey, don’t prejudge the show. It’s quality escapist fun. The plot lines are tricky. The dialogue sparkles. And the actors give it their all. Sandy and I, for sure, are hoping that Netflix will renew The Lincoln Lawyer for a third run.

Which brings us, rather haphazardly, to another creation — The Well, a new song that instantly grabbed me when I heard it on the radio a couple of weeks ago. It’s the work of Briscoe, a group from Texas, and will appear on Briscoe’s first album, which is scheduled to be released next month.

The two main guys in Briscoe — Truett Heintzelman and Philip Lupton — are in their 20s. But they are looking far into the future in The Well, pondering whether memories of the joys of youth will help to sustain old age. I think the Briscoe boys are concerned about something that isn’t going to happen. They’ll be just fine, enjoying the moment, when they reach their “golden” years.

That quibble aside, there’s no denying that The Well, an old-timey type of song brought to high places by rocking drums, is catchy as can be. The blend of the stringed instruments with the quivering, giddy vocals makes me go weak in the knees. I’m smitten!

So, those are a few of the things that have rung my bell of late. What’s rung yours?

Ringo Starr Knows Where It’s At

Yeah, Another Blogger146 Comments

There I was a couple of Thursday afternoons ago, manning the information desk at a medical office building not far from my home. I’ve put in several thousands of hours at this volunteer job since 2010. It gets me out of the house and into the real world and keeps me on my toes. That’s why I like it.

Halfway through my shift, in wandered a white-haired guy with his wife. He looked a bit like Santa Claus . . .  chubby and jolly. I don’t know which one of them had an appointment. In any case, I could tell they were having trouble figuring out where the appropriate doctor’s office was. I got their attention and asked if they needed any help. Santa strolled closer to me.

“I’m lost,” he said, “which isn’t unusual for me.”

He gave me the name of the doctor, and I told him which suite to go to. But he didn’t walk away. Instead, he gazed at me, curiosity pouring from his eyes, and continued the conversation.

“We’re about the same vintage, aren’t we?” he asked.

Huh? I sure as hell wasn’t expecting those words to come out of his mouth.

“Well, maybe,” I replied.

“I’m 80. Will be 81 in October,” he told me.

“I’m not quite there,” I said.

He gazed at my visage for a second or two more, and then, joined by his spouse, headed to the elevator. Just before stepping in, he delivered parting words with pride and amazement in his voice: “I’m still here,” he said. Meaning, he hadn’t become worm-food yet.

“Yeah, we’re hanging in there,” was my reply.

Holy crap! Had it come to that? Was it possible that I, a mere lad of 75, could pass for an 80-year-old? Man, I’ve been thinking about this ever since the encounter, and I’m stunned.

Sure, for a nice big bunch of years I’ve realized that no lady, unless she’s nearsighted as hell, ever again will give me the eye. I might be 50 years old in my mind, but the wrinkles and bumps on my frigging face tell a far different story. 80, though? Shit, unfortunately Santa probably was right. There’s a real chance that plenty of people peg me for an octogenarian. Excuse me for a moment . . . I feel a cry coming on.

I’m back. And feeling better. I guess. Yup, any way you look at it, I’m old. But when you get right down to it, that doesn’t matter too much. What does matter is this, and it’s not as though I’m the first person ever to have these thoughts: Life is fleeting. It goes by so fast it can take your breath away. So, whatever your age, a good policy to follow is to keep on truckin’, doing that which brings you pleasure, for as long as your health allows you to. Needless to say, loving, helping and supporting others should be part of the equation too. And finding new avenues and vistas to explore ain’t a bad idea either. In fact, it’s a very good one. Might as well live life fully till the Grim F*cking Reaper decides to pay you a visit, right? You bet.

To wind up the proceedings, and to add some emphasis to what I just said, let’s turn to the one and only Ringo Starr. He’s 83, which is a shocking truth. But his advanced age doesn’t get him down. He’s full of pep, touring and recording like crazy. And he has his head on very straight. He was quoted as saying the following in an interview published last month in People magazine: “Nothing makes me feel old. In my head, I’m 27. Wisdom’s a heavy word. [Getting older] is what happens, and you try and keep yourself busy.”

I’ve always thought that Ringo is cool as can be. He’s smart and funny and gives off really good vibes. It doesn’t surprise me that he plans to keep on rocking until he can rock no more. In my own modest way, I intend to do the same.

Six Pix For The First Six Months Of The Year

Yeah, Another Blogger137 Comments

During the 1970s and 1980s I enjoyed walking around Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, where I lived at the time, and around many other places, snapping photos with my Kodak Pocket Instamatic of whatever caught my eye. I took a lot of family photos too. I haven’t looked at most of those pictures in . . . forever. Save for a relative few, they reside, way too many unlabeled, inside a large box or two or three somewhere in my house. The attic, most likely. I’d do well to locate and gaze at the pix. Who knows what good memories they’d bring back? Yeah, one of these days I’m going to get off my lazy ass and do just that. One of these days.

Anyway, fast forward to the tail end of 2015, which is when I purchased my first smart phone. Man, after 25 or more years of not being involved with photography — my wife Sandy had assumed the photographic duties — I took to the phone’s camera like Donald Trump takes to undermining democracy. In no time I was having fun shooting digital pictures and marveling at how easy the camera was to use.

And I couldn’t have been happier that the phone dated each shot and listed information about where the picture was taken. Even better, the photographs had no desire to leave the confines of their cozy quarters within the phone. They wouldn’t even consider wandering off to the f*cking attic or anywhere else. I love them for that, because I drop by now and then to take a look.

Sculpture outside a Mexican restaurant. Hatboro, Pennsylvania. January 2023
Artwork at Philadelphia Flower Show. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. March 2023

Like many of us, I’ve shot a large number of digital photos. Documenting our lives on a semi-regular basis isn’t the worst idea in the world, right? A recent stroll through my iPhone’s photo library revealed that my button-pressing fingers were pretty busy during the first six months of 2023, for instance, as roughly 250 photographs from that period are stored there. Being in a jolly mood at the moment, I’ve decided to bestow immortality upon six of those pix that I especially like, one from each month (I did the same thing last year). They are included in this story, and haven’t appeared in Yeah, Another Blogger before. Scads of worthy photos are not pleased about being snubbed, however. I have this to say to them: “Tough shit! Nobody ever said that life is fair.”

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. April 2023
Keswick Theater. Glenside, Pennsylvania. June 2023

I didn’t venture very far from home during the months in question. The photos herein, therefore, are restricted to the Philadelphia suburbs, which has been my home base since 2005, and to Philadelphia itself. And now a few words about two of the pictures.

Willow Grove, Pennsylvania. February 2023

I’ve witnessed numerous sunsets in my time, most of them in areas blessed with natural beauty, such as Cape Cod, Massachusetts. My town doesn’t come close to matching that description. However, my hilly neighborhood is good for sunset-watching from certain high points, like the one that is half a block from my front door. The view of the sky is nicely open there, not obscured by many houses or trees. One early evening in February I ventured out, and 15 seconds later was admiring a sunset whose yellows, oranges, pinks and greys, all delicate as feathers, made my day. A beautiful sight it was.

Willow Grove Park Mall. Abington, Pennsylvania. May 2023

And on a May morning I headed to Willow Grove Park Mall, an enclosed space not much more than a hop, skip and jump from my abode. I occasionally go there to engage in a cardio workout, walking the mall’s avenues and byways at a good clip. Such was the reason for my visit that day.

Hoofing around the mall’s second level, I approached a GAP clothing store. The posters in its windows always have impressed me, touching as they do on the positive aspects of the human condition. During the May walk, one of the GAP posters brought me up short. After staring at it for a few seconds I whipped out my phone. There was no way I was not going to photograph the poster, because its depiction of parental love was more vivid and pure than any I’d ever seen. His arms wrapped around his baby, a young father could not be more certain of his role in life than he is at that moment. Love radiates from him in gentle waves. He’s the luckiest guy in the world. And he knows it.

Hackensack

Yeah, Another Blogger147 Comments

The other day, while driving to Hatboro, a town near mine in the suburbs of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, I heard on the radio a song I adore. It has a simple title — Hackensack — and always has made me go weak in the knees. Powerfully gentle, Hackensack tugged at my heartstrings as I made my way along the road. I hadn’t heard the tune in years, in effect had forgotten about it. Now it is stuck in my head.

Hackensack is by Fountains Of Wayne, a pop-rock outfit whose career spanned the years 1995 through 2013. During that time the band had one big hit, Stacy’s Mom, which came out in 2003 on the album Welcome Interstate Managers. Hackensack also is on that album. Without further ado, let’s give a listen to the recording I’ve become reacquainted with and addicted to.

What’s Hackensack about? Well, I used to think of it as a bittersweet lyric — I guess I viewed the words as both wistful and vaguely hopeful — woven into a melody that is as delicious as a summer breeze. A guy, probably a 30-something, pines for a girl he went to school with years earlier in Hackensack, New Jersey, the town he has lived in his entire life. Despite his infatuation, in reality he never knew her all that well. She moved away long ago and has made it big as an actress. Tell me, is it possible not to sing along with these lines, though they might also cause a lump to form in your throat?

But I will wait for you/As long as I need to/And if you ever get back to Hackensack/I’ll be here for you.

As noted above, I can’t shake Hackensack. Nor do I want to. A day or two after visiting Hatboro, where I got my cardio in by walking vigorously around town, I did a bit of research into Fountains Of Wayne. I read that the band consisted of Chris Collingwood (lead vocals and rhythm guitar), Adam Schlesinger (electric bass), Jody Porter (lead guitar) and Brian Young (drums). They recorded five studio albums, Collingwood and Schlesinger writing all the songs. The only band member whose name rang a bell with me was Schlesinger, though years ago, in my music-junkie days, I probably knew all of them.

During the research I also learned something I was aware of when it happened but had forgotten. Namely, Adam Schlesinger, poor soul, succumbed to COVID in 2020. He was 52. And I also learned something I hadn‘t known before: Three weeks after his death, Fountains Of Wayne, long disbanded, came together (with Sharon Van Etten filling in on bass for the departed) to honor Schlesinger.

The song they played was Hackensack. I watched the video of their performance. It really got to me, the words taking on new meanings and hitting home. I realized that Hackensack is not bittersweet, which, as I’ve mentioned, is how I previously would have described it. No, it’s emphatically a sad song. Hackensack’s protagonist is lost and clueless. He isn’t exactly climbing the ladder of success. And, of course, he isn’t going to get the girl. Or any girl, most likely. Man, I can relate. I once was in similar straits, going nowhere fast during much of my 20s. It was only because of the grace of who-knows-what that my ship righted itself eventually, allowing me to establish a decent career and find someone — the absolutely correct lady, no less — to be with.

I see now that, at their root, Hackensack’s lyrics imply what we all know to be true. That is, life can be scarily unpredictable and fragile. It’s a crapshoot, really. Nothing is guaranteed, certainly not longevity. Adam Schlesinger’s death, I think, touched his former bandmates deeply. By regrouping briefly in 2020, they are saying, by way of the song they chose to play, that they miss him a lot. He won’t be returning to the town of Hackensack, or to anywhere else. But they wish he could and would.

Here is the video:

What’s Up, Doc?

Yeah, Another Blogger133 Comments

“Why, if it isn’t my favorite patient,” said Dr. R. U. Forereel, a not unsubtle note of sarcasm in her voice, when I entered her office last week for my monthly psychiatric session. “Have a seat, Neil. Which of your numerous problems would you like to discuss today?”

“Well, if you don’t mind, I want to talk about my recent difficulties with writing,” I said as I sat myself down in the patient chair. “I’m sure you remember that I’ve been turning out articles since 2015 for my website Yeah, Another Blogger.”

Dr. Forereel made no attempt to turn her head away from me as she rolled her eyes. “Are you kidding me? Of course I know about Yeah, Another Blogger. How could I not know, considering that you mention it every damn time I see you? Okay, tell me what’s on your mind.”

“Doctor, it’s never been a snap for me to come up with story ideas and develop them into written pieces. But the last couple of weeks have been terrible. I mean, I’ve been stuck in traffic, going nowhere, paddling against the current . . . ”

Dr. Forereel cut me off. “Enough with the clichés already. I get it! You have writer’s block, right?”

“Bingo,” I said.

Dr. Forereel paused for a long moment, playing with the several chin hairs that she’d have done well to dispose of at home. Then she began to talk again.

“Neil, I’m in the process of writing my memoirs, as you know. I have you to thank for that, needless to say. I’ve plugged away at the book religiously every night after work for the last seven months, and on weekends too, with remarkable results. No writer’s block for me. Last night I completed the section about my life at age four, the age at which it became apparent to one and all, including me, that I was not a people person. That personality trait has continued to this day, by the way.”

“What?” I yelled. “After hundreds and hundreds of hours of work you’re only up to age four? At this rate you won’t finish the book for another 25 years! And if you’re not a people person, then why in the world did you pursue psychiatry?”

“Neil, the world will welcome my autobiography no matter when it is published. Of that I’m certain. And, to answer your question, a central message of the book, one that millions of people will take heart from, will be this: It’s absolutely fine to be ill-suited for one’s profession. Why waste time trying out different occupations, hoping and praying that one of them will prove to be a wonderful fit? Just grab indiscriminately at something, put your nose to the grindstone and get on with it. Whatever that it might be. Don’t you agree?”

I was dumbfounded. Which didn’t stop me from cobbling together a response. “You’ve just proven to me that you’re a remarkable theorist, doctor,” I said. “What’s more, a bad match though you might be for psychiatry, you are a wonder-worker too. Where would I, and who knows how many others, be without you? You have illuminated a few of the dark recesses of my mind over the years. Not that I feel any better as a result of that, but at least I have more to talk about with people than I used to. For that, I’m eternally in your debt.”

“So glad to be and to have been of service. You won’t mind, I hope, if I mention you by name in my memoirs?”

“Certainly not. Especially since it seems I’ll be long gone or too old to care by the time your book hits the market. You know, I must say today’s session has been unusually enlivening and enlightening, so much so that I feel the need to write up an account of what you and I have discussed this afternoon. I am totally confident that writer’s block will not be an issue. And then, with your permission, naturally, I’ll publish the story on my blog.”

“You have my blessings,” my doctor said. “After all, your previous descriptions of our encounters brought me a substantial number of new patients. They’d never have known I existed had it not been for you.”

“I’m really glad to hear that,” I replied. “And I barely can wait to get back home and put my fingers on my computer’s keyboard. Because of you, doctor, Yeah, Another Blogger will live to see another day!”

A Cheer For Beer

Yeah, Another Blogger170 Comments

In June 2015, two months into my blogging career, I composed a paean to beer, and I’ve returned to the subject several times since then. I have my friend Cindy to thank for setting the present story in motion. Here’s why: I mentioned to her recently that, for quite a while, I’d been taking photos at home of beers, alongside their frequently snazzy cans and bottles. And that I’d been sending some of the photos (via email with a subject line reading Tonight’s beer) to a rotating selection of relatives and friends. Those folks included Cindy’s husband Gene. Cindy didn’t say that she thought this was a pretty ridiculous thing to do, as well it might be. Nope, her immediate response was, “You should write a story about that.”

Well, I mulled over her idea for a number of days, finally deciding to wax rhapsodic about beer once again. And so, I headed to my smart phone’s photo archives. There I discovered that my first documentation of a beer purchase occurred in November 2020, and that approximately 80 more beers/cans/bottles subsequently have posed for me. None of the pictures are wonderful examples of the art of photography, that’s for damn sure, nearly all of them having been snapped clumsily in my kitchen or dining room. But what the hell. They are what they are.

Despite their pedestrianism, one thing for certain is that they make me want to down a cold brew right now. I won’t, however, because it’s mid-afternoon as I type these opening paragraphs, and I drink (almost) only at night. And only five beers per week, to boot. Shit, you better believe that I’d like to be able to drink a whole lot more than that, but I’m a geezer with a sensitive system. I know my limits. Maybe that’s why I truly savor just about every quaff that goes down my aged hatch.

In the USA, where I live, the beer world started to turn into a wonderland in the early 1990s. That’s when small breweries began popping up like mad all over the States, producing styles of beer commonly known to some parts of the world, but unfamiliar to the vast majority of American beer drinkers (including me), who downed only Budweiser, Miller and other mild lagers. Around that time, also, beers from other countries began finding their way into my nation more plentifully than before. Lo and behold, I gradually learned about stouts, porters, pale ales, wheat beers and Oktoberfests, to name a few, plus lagers that put Bud and Miller to shame. With hundreds upon hundreds of American breweries each producing their takes on assorted beer varieties and sometimes developing new styles, and with varied beers arriving from overseas, a beer renaissance was under way on my side of the pond.

Over time I’ve become a beer geek. A devotee of most types of beer, I’m amazed by the deliciousness almost always awaiting me at taverns, restaurants and beer stores. And I enjoy few things better than seeking out beers that I’ve never had before, in bottles and cans and on tap. I think of this ongoing quest as a treasure hunt. It thrills and delights me. I’m not kidding when I say that the beer revolution, still going very strong in the USA, has been one of my favorite developments of the last several decades. It has made my life better.

And I can’t seem to restrain my excitement. Thus, since starting the photography project innocently over two years ago, I grab a picture of nearly every store-bought beer that’s new to me when I open its can or bottle (for instance, Iron Hill Brewery’s version of Oktoberfest, which I discovered recently). I also immortalize beers that have held, and continue to hold, a special place in my heart and mouth. Anchor Steam Beer, proudly brewed in San Francisco since 1896, though I didn’t find out about it till almost 100 years later, is a prime example of that.

What’s more, I feel compelled to share my enthusiasm. The dozens and dozens of my beer pix that have landed in a bunch of individuals’ inboxes attest to that. Do any of these people want my pictures? Do they think I’m batty to send them? Who knows? Who cares? The bottom line is that delicious beers deserve to be acknowledged and saluted. To which I add . . . olé!

75 And Counting

Yeah, Another Blogger155 Comments

Eleven months ago I published a piece in which I noted that I couldn’t believe how fast 2021, and hence my life, was flying by. Well, somehow 2022 has equaled or maybe even surpassed 2021’s fleetness. And I have no doubt that 2023 will tear out of the starter’s block like Usain Bolt and then do nothing but pick up speed. Man, time unquestionably is the most precious commodity of all. It’s unsettling too.

Now, not everybody would agree with my perception of time. Most young people, for instance, don’t sense time as being a high-speed train.  Hell, for the most part they don’t think about time at all. Like many senior citizens, however, I have time on my mind pretty often. Meaning, I’m anything but oblivious to the facts that I’ve been on Planet Earth for a good long while, and that I’m a whole lot closer to the end than to the beginning. I don’t become badly depressed about it, or anything like that. However, the reality of the situation definitely gets my attention now and then.

I mention the above because I was stunned big-time a couple of months ago as I neared the completion of my 75th journey around the Sun. I did not feel at all celebratory about the upcoming birthday. The cockles of my heart refused to warm even one little bit. “75? Are you shitting me?” I asked myself. “How is it possible that I’ve become so f*cking old?” I mean, it seems like only yesterday that I was in my twenties, let alone in my 40s. Holy crap, where in the world did the time go?

By anyone’s definition, 75 is old as frigging dirt, or nearly so. Yeah, I know that plenty of people are older than me. Not as many as you might think, though, nor as many as I thought until I researched the subject earlier this month on a website that can tell you where you fit, age-wise, on the human population ladder. (Click here if you’d like to see the site. When it opens, click on Let’s Go. Next, click on My Place In The Population, which is where you enter your age.)

The answer, for 75-year-old me, was not joy-inducing. That’s because I learned that I am older than 96% of the people on our beautiful, polluted planet. That figure was an absolute kick to the balls. All I could do was shake off the pain and acknowledge the bad joke with a half-hearted chortle. And then I got right back to doing the things I love, such as palling around with my wife and other friends, exploring the natural and man-made worlds, writing, reading, and imbibing cool music. They make for a good life. With luck, this regimen will continue for a bunch more years.

With 2023 a mere handful of days away, the time now has arrived for me to wish all of you a most Happy New Year. May it be rewarding. And may peace, love, understanding and freedom fully permeate the human condition one day. They are in short supply in many parts of the globe, as we know all too well. So, as I’ve been thinking about freedom a lot lately, I’ll conclude this essay by presenting a song, Miles And Miles, that knocked me off my feet when I heard it for the first time recently. It’s a brilliant rocker, released this year by The Heavy Heavy, a young British band that I wouldn’t mind hanging out with for a while, traveling with them from gig to gig and absorbing their vibes. For the song’s about being flushed with freedom as you groove to life’s rhythms and grab hold of the good stuff out there in the world. I tell you, that orientation has appealed to me exquisitely since I reached adulthood many moons ago. I hope I never stop feeling, and acting, that way.